logo
episode-header-image
Jul 2021
44m 10s

Ken Page: Respect Your Gifts to Find Rea...

Blinkist
About this episode

Are you single—or in a relationship—and keep falling for people who almost love you right, but not quite? There's a reason why that happens, and Ken Page has figured out the formula behind these deeper physics of dating.

Ken is a psychotherapist specialized in the search for intimacy, and author of the book Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy (https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/deeper-dating-en).

In this episode, Ken explains why the parts of you that you're most embarrassed about—that you try to hide by being cool, low maintenance, or extra accommodating—are actually your most valuable gifts that will lead you to finding and keeping real intimacy. He also reveals what he considers to be the single biggest saboteur of healthy love, and talks about different ways in which we flee intimacy without being aware of it.

Whether single or in a relationship, this episode is for everyone who wants to foster their skills of intimacy, and deepen their bonds with themselves and others.

Books Ken recommends:
Ken recommends Harville Hendrix’s work, especially Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. He also mentions his work around Safe Conversations.

Books Caitlin and Ben recommend:

  • The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, by Gary Chapman
  • Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love, by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller
  • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, by Harville Hendrix

Caitlin also mentions Imago Relationship Therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to https://www.blinkist.com/simplify [2], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code COREGIFTS.

Let us know what you thought of this episode, what your core gifts are, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]

Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler and Marta Medvešek. Big thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops and Odysseas Constantinou for music.

[1]: https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/deeper-dating-en
[2]: https://www.blinkist.com/simplify
[3]: https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller
[4]: https://twitter.com/bsto

Up next
May 2024
Rhaina Cohen: Center Friendship and Thrive
You know a magical connection when you feel it—that undeniable magnetism that pulls you together for a fit that's as much like home as it is an adventure. We see these sorts of connections in romcoms all the time, but they're not just relegated to the romcom realm. Magical connec ... Show More
44m 53s
May 2024
Michelle Weise: Be a Skills Translator, AI-proof Your Future
Here's a chilling thought: experts are saying that we may soon be sustaining 100-year work lives. If that's true, then how many careers might we have? How will we know where to upskill? And how will we keep bagged lunches interesting for so many years? Michelle R. Weise, research ... Show More
44m 54s
Mar 2024
Jessica DeFino: Beauty Beyond the Bottle
Today, our guest is an award-winning beauty reporter and critic whom you might have stumbled upon while reading her super popular newsletter, The Unpublishable, which, as HuffPost says, "basically gives the middle finger to the entire beauty industry." Writing about what the beau ... Show More
37m 22s
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2024
"Why You're SABOTAGING Your Love Life" - The Neuroscience of Attraction Revealed
In this powerful episode of The School of Greatness, I dive deep into the fascinating world of love, relationships, and the human brain with three incredible experts. We kick things off with neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart, who breaks down the science behind attraction, bonding, an ... Show More
1h 10m
Mar 2025
How To Believe You Are Worthy Of The Love You Desire | Jillian Turecki
I'm going on tour! Come see The School of Greatness LIVE in person!Get my new book Make Money Easy here!Relationship expert Jillian Turecki delivers a masterclass in authentic love that challenges conventional wisdom about partnership in today's divisive world. Through vulnerable ... Show More
1h 25m
Aug 2024
EP399 - The Love Prescription: Intimacy for Your Heart & Body
Welcome to episode 399 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Veronica Cisneros. In this conversation, we explore personal anecdotes from both our marriages, looking at the dynamics of long-term relationships, and share tips for maintaining a strong, pa ... Show More
42m 18s
Feb 2025
3 Secrets To Building Deep & Meaningful Relationships
I'm going on tour! Come see The School of Greatness LIVE in person!Get my new book Make Money Easy here!What if the key to conscious love isn't finding the perfect partner, but mastering yourself first? In this powerful compilation episode, world-renowned experts Jay Shetty, Dr J ... Show More
1h 17m
Dec 2024
Attachment Masterclass: Sue Johnson, Rick Hanson, Julie Mennano, and Elizabeth Ferreira
Why do some people navigate the social world with such ease while others feel like they're swimming upstream? In this special episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by four leading experts for a masterclass on the science of attachment. Featuring conversations with Dr. Sue John ... Show More
2h 1m
Jun 9
Terry Real: Relationships, Trauma, and Inner Child Work
What gets in the way of truly intimate, healthy relationships…and what can we do about it? In this moving episode, Forrest is joined by renowned couples therapist Terry Real to explore how we can build deeper, more meaningful connections. They unpack key concepts from Relational ... Show More
1h 19m
Apr 2023
229: Treating Love Addiction with Dr. Cortney Warren
A lot of people go through an experience where they fall madly in love with someone, they crave them, and they want to be with them. There's this addictive nature of romantic love. And then for whatever reason, it doesn't work and you break up. Now, what? That being said, falling ... Show More
50m 18s
Feb 2025
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
What do you think is the biggest dating mistake people make? Have you ever chased someone who wasn’t right for you? Today, in this special compilation episode, we explore all things love - how people navigate it, where they go wrong, and how they can cultivate deeper, more meanin ... Show More
32m 30s
Sep 2024
714. The Secret To Connecting With Anyone and Getting What You Want
In this episode, Lindsey sits down with Charles Duhigg, New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Habit, Smarter Faster Better, and his newest book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Communication takes center stage as Charles breaks dow ... Show More
1h 24m
Jan 2025
9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Relationships Forever | Jillian Turecki
Renowned relationship coach and author Jillian Turecki delivers a masterclass in understanding the complex dynamics of modern relationships, drawing from both professional expertise and deeply personal experiences. Through raw and honest discussion, she reveals how our childhood ... Show More
58m 45s