I’ve been thinking a lot about trust and consideration and love.
Naturally, I’ve been very bitter about some things going on in my personal life and it convinced me for a second there that I didn’t love or trust the world around me and that I would never trust another human again. Wen in reality, I didn’t hate the world around me I hate the internal process I wasn’t allowing myself to fully experience.
One way Ive been combatting this line of thinking is through reality checks and one of the most important reminder for myself lately is that I dont actually distrust everyone and everything.
Every time I get in my car I Trust the manufacturer, the guy who does my brakes, my oil changes, the guy who makes the roads. Maybe I dont know or trust them in intimate ways, but ti doesn’t mean I don't have some love and compassion and appreciation for the version of that person who made the road or changed my tires or did my oil.
Some people are really fucking… not smart… and some people really fucking annoying and some are a combination of dumb and annoying. We have to love them anyway.
Perfection is not a prerequisite for human connection or emotional care. Every human being has limitations, mistakes, and vulnerabilities; expecting flawlessness is unrealistic. A person's intrinsic value and capacity for belonging do not depend on constant performance or error-free conduct.
Plenty of flawed people are in real, loving relationships. Do I believe they don’t deserve to be loved just because they are flawed?
I try my best to be perfect, because in some way it makes me feel like I can get away from being abandoned or cheated on or lied to or hurt. But that’s not how any of this works. Part of what makes falling and being in love so magical and deep and beautiful is that it is inherently a risk. You are putting your faith in another person. And sometimes those people will disappoint you. Sometimes those people will disappoint themselves. There’s nothing you can do about that. But being hotter (or richer or cooler or more botoxed or whatever) won’t protect you from that.
Meg Thee Stallion, Beyonce, Dolly, Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, Reese Witherspoon, Shakira, Robert Pattinson, Every Kardashian, Nia fucking Long, and these are just the publicized ones. Nobody is safe from heartbreak and being disappointed by a person.
We often weaponize self-improvement. We try to become the hottest, smartest, or most flawless version of ourselves as a subconscious shield. But you can't save yourself from other people's weaknesses + mistakes.
You can only CHOOSE to love yourself despite it all.
“You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don't have to do anything to earn it.
Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success - none of that matters. No one can take this love away from you, and it will always be here.”
— Ram Dass
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