For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven simple habits, drawn from the research of relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman, that can fundamentally change how connected, loved and secure you and your partner feel.
Whether your relationship has drifted into silence, feels more like a housemate arrangement or simply lacks the warmth it once had, these habits show exactly where to start.
Rather than offering grand romantic gestures or an overhaul of your entire week, Alastair explains how just six intentional hours, built from small, consistent moments, can rebuild a relationship from the inside out.
And the good news is, most of what he shares takes minutes, not hours.
Key Takeaways:
- Most couples don't fall apart because of one big thing. They drift apart because of 100 small things, and the same is true in reverse. Small habits can erode a relationship, and small habits can rebuild it.
- The way you say goodbye in the morning sets the emotional tone for both of you for hours afterwards. A moment of real contact before you part, a hug, a kind word, genuine eye contact, is worth far more than most people realise.
- Reunions matter just as much as goodbyes. A genuine reconnection when you walk back through the door signals safety and warmth. It tells your partner they matter more than the chaos of the day.
- We are wired to notice what is wrong. If you are not intentional about appreciation, the frustrations get all the attention and the good stuff goes unspoken. A daily habit of expressing genuine admiration changes the whole atmosphere of a relationship, often faster than people expect.
- Physical affection throughout the day, a hand on the shoulder, sitting close, a proper hug, builds what researchers call emotional bonding. Words alone cannot create it.
- A daily stress-reducing conversation is not about logistics. It is about each other's inner world. And crucially, the role of the listener is just to listen, not to fix, not to advise. Just to be present. This is a skill, and it gets easier with practice.
- A weekly relationship check-in stops small problems from becoming big ones. Nothing festers, nothing builds into the kind of resentment that takes months to untangle. It can feel awkward at first. But it works.
Resources & Next Steps:
If you'd like support putting these habits into practice, or if anger or arguments have been getting in the way of the relationship you want:
