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Episode 2924:
Dr. Kathy McMahon explores why partners emotionally shut down during conflict and how this "flooding" response differs from manipulation or abuse. Drawing on Gottman's research, she explains the physiological overwhelm behind the behavior and offers practical tools, like structured time-outs and calming techniques, to help couples reconnect and de-escalate arguments.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.couplestherapyinc.com/stonewalling/
Quotes to ponder:
"Evidence reveals that stonewalling happens when a partner feels overwhelmed, shuts down emotionally, and breaks eye contact."
"When stonewalling is a manipulative or controlling strategy, seek help right away. When it is deliberate, it is a form of emotional abuse."
"In other cases, stonewalling is a trauma response. Individuals who have suffered trauma in the past may respond by using stonewalling as a means of self-protection."
Episode references:
The Four Horsemen - Stonewalling: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-stonewalling/
Jacobsonian Relaxation Technique (Progressive Muscle Relaxation): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_muscle_relaxation