In this episode, human relations professor and author Dr. Sterlin Mosley joins Alice to break down one of the most confusing and destabilizing experiences anyone can face: what happens when you reject a narcissist — romantically, sexually, emotionally, or otherwise.
If you’ve ever wondered how to reject a narcissist safely, what narcissists do when you reject them, or why even highly intelligent people end up trapped in cycles of love bombing, self-doubt, and psychological whiplash, this conversation is going to hit with startling clarity.
Sterlin opens with a statistic that flips the entire narrative on its head: while official numbers say 1–2% of people have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the real number of people with significant narcissistic traits is likely closer to 8–10%. From there, he explains why NPD is so often undiagnosed, how narcissists take rejection, and why denial (“I’m not a narcissist!”) is often the most predictable response.
Alice and Sterlin go deep into the relational fallout of setting boundaries — including when you reject a narcissist hoover and they attempt to pull you back, when you reject a narcissist sexually, and why narcissists often escalate, punish, or retaliate when their supply is cut off. Sterlin also breaks down the neurology behind the love bombing narcissist meaning — why it feels euphoric, addictive, and impossible to leave — and what to do when you're involved with a love bombing narcissist husband, partner, parent, or friend.
For listeners dealing with covert narcissists, Sterlin explains why covert personalities are harder to identify, how they use vulnerability as manipulation, and how to reject a covert narcissist without getting caught in the guilt–shame–blame cycle.
Most importantly, Sterlin offers grounded, non-sensationalized guidance on the best way to reject a narcissist, the emotional withdrawal that follows, and how to rebuild honesty, clarity, and safety in your own body again.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone in a confusing relationship, navigating the aftermath of narcissistic rejection, or trying to understand why even the strongest people can get trapped in dynamics that erode their confidence, intuition, and well-being. It’s for anyone who’s ever wondered: If you reject a narcissist, what happens next — and how do you protect yourself in the process?
Resources & Links
🌐 Explore Dr. Sterlin Mosley’s work at http://sterlinmosley.com/
📚 Read Center of the Universe: https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/center-of-the-universe-9781538186435/
📰 Subscribe to Sterlin’s Substack for deeper case studies and essays on narcissism: https://substack.com/@sterlinmosley
Chapters
00:00 Why So Many Narcissists Go Undiagnosed
02:00 What Happens When You Reject a Narcissist
05:00 Do Narcissists Deny Being a Narcissist?
08:20 Why the DSM Gets Narcissism Wrong
11:40 How Narcissists Take Rejection in Relationships
14:00 The Reality of Rejecting a Covert Narcissist
18:10 “Love Bombing” Explained — Neurology, Addiction & Fantasy
22:30 When You Reject a Narcissist Sexually
25:00 What to Do When You Reject a Narcissist After Betrayal
28:40 The Narcissistic Hoover: Why They Pull You Back
32:00 The Best Way to Reject a Narcissist Safely
35:20 Trauma, Armoring & the Roots of Narcissistic Personality
40:00 What Narcissists Do When You Reject Them (and Why)
45:30 Breadcrumbing, Gaslighting, and DARVO
50:00 Rebuilding Reality After Emotional Manipulation
53:10 Why You Blame Yourself — and Why You Shouldn’t
56:30 Choosing Yourself Again
59:00 Sterlin’s Advice for Anyone Living in Narcissistic Chaos