In this episode, keynote speaker and former litigator Kim Bolourtchi joins Alice to unpack what happens when following all the rules still leaves you feeling hollow.
After building a high-powered legal career, Kim realized that the very traits that made her “successful” — discipline, control, and achievement — were also keeping her small. She opens up about the moment her two worlds collided: arguing before the Missouri Supreme Court when her husband revealed her secret life as a Latin dancer. What felt like career sabotage became the spark that changed everything.
Kim and Alice dive deep into the invisible rules we inherit — from childhood conditioning to workplace norms — and how these rules shape our sense of belonging, respectability, and self-worth. Kim shares her journey of strategic unruliness: identifying the beliefs that no longer serve you, learning to trust your own desires, and taking small, courageous steps toward a more authentic life.
From losing a national dance competition in a catsuit to redefining what success looks like beyond external validation, Kim’s story is a masterclass in breaking patterns without burning down your life.
This episode is for anyone who’s done everything “right” and still feels like something’s missing — anyone who’s ready to stop performing success and start embodying it.
Resources & Links:
📘 Strategic Unruliness: Break the Rules, Build What’s Next by Kim Bolourtchi
🌐 Take Kim’s “Which Rule Is Running Your Life?” quiz at kimbolourtchi.com
💬 Connect with Kim on LinkedIn
Chapters:
00:00 The Ache of Doing Everything Right
01:10 Arguing Before the Supreme Court—and Being Outed as a Dancer
06:20 Integrating the Parts of Yourself You’ve Hidden
10:45 The Rules We Inherit From Childhood
15:00 When People-Pleasing Stops Serving You
20:00 Taking Small Steps Toward Alignment
26:30 The Catsuit Story: Breaking Convention and Rediscovering Joy
33:00 The Keynote Flop That Taught Her Conviction
41:00 Resentment, Envy, and the Signals of Misalignment
47:00 Redefining Security and Success on Your Own Terms
50:00 Building a Strategically Unruly Life