logo
episode-header-image
Nov 3
1h 8m

Loving my husband after verbally abusive...

THEOLOGY OF THE BODY INSTITUTE
About this episode

Questions answered this episode:

  1. I’ve been married for almost 25 years. My husband has been verbally abusive and sexually misused me, though we’re now on a path of healing and reconciliation. Because of the deep wounds, I haven’t been able to have sex with him since our separation a year and a half ago. I’m slowly learning forgiveness, but his anger over the lack of sex makes it hard. He says things like, “No loving Christian woman would make a guy wait this long.” How can I find genuine desire again after so much damage to my heart?
  2. My friend, who identifies as non-binary, had masculinizing chest surgery. I knew about her plans but never dissuaded her or shared my faith. I even drove her to her first post-op appointment. Now I feel I failed to answer God’s call to speak truth. She may think I support her decision and doesn’t know I’m Catholic. I pray for her and want to reflect on what happened—how to seek God’s grace for us both and how to be a better friend in Christ moving forward.
  3. Coming from a Protestant background, I’m now more open to icons and statues but still struggle with the physical gestures of veneration. I understand the honor is for the person represented, not the image, yet verses like Revelation 19:10 trouble me. I love sacred art but hesitate with bowing or kissing images. How does Theology of the Body help explain this kind of devotion?


Resources:

Word Made Fresh Podcast

Good News About Sex & Marriage

Love & Responsibility YouTube Series


---


Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.


---


🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠


📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠


⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠


---


Submit you question here!


---


🎟️ Event Schedule


📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule


🏔️ Pilgrimages


🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠



*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

Up next
Nov 17
Male fertility & TOB, Should I read things that trigger my sexual wounds?, and Exposure therapy for modesty? | ACW359
<p>Questions answered this episode:</p><ol><li> Right now, I&#39;m learning about cycles and fertility using the Creighton method. One main point is that the man is always fertile while the woman is infertile most of the time. I’m wondering if there’s a theology behind that—espec ... Show More
51 m
Nov 10
When you can’t receive your parents’ advice, Male climax outside question, & Christ the Bridegroom for non-consecrated Christians | ACW358
Questions answered this episode:I admire my Catholic family, but I struggle to receive advice from my parents. I’m academically gifted and study philosophy, theology, and psychology of relationships, while they don’t share my passion for ideas. When they give advice, I often thin ... Show More
57m 41s
Oct 27
 Numb to desire, dating fast-track, and finding joy in painful martial embrace | ACW356
Questions answered this episode:I don't think I have numbed myself or shut down my desires, but I think I may have never learned how to be in touch with them. I don't ever feel aroused or even really desirous of anything. I thought it was because I was blessed with purity, chasti ... Show More
46m 37s
Recommended Episodes
May 2021
Christopher West on Sex, God, Beauty, and the Theology of the Body | Ep. 269
<p>In this episode, Christopher West of the Theology of the Body Institute comes on the show to chat about Pope St. John Paul II's "Theology of the Body," and a whole lot more — from Descartes to coffee addictions.</p> <p>We sit back and let the conversation flow about all kinds ... Show More
3h 16m
Oct 2024
205: Why Don't Churches Talk About Sex, Can I Separate Due To My Spouse's Porn Addiction, Does Premarital Sex Disqualify Me From Ministry, and More! Ask A Pastor Q&A With Pastor Chris de Monye Part 2
Tune into this incredible PART TWO episode of “Ask A Pastor”! The KS team had the pleasure of interviewing Pastor Chris de Monye and asking him all of the questions you sent in on Instagram! Don’t miss it.   Links from today’s episode: Dwellbible.com/kingdom chris@thisisvi ... Show More
51m 22s
Oct 2024
204: How To Talk About Fantasies, Have Enough Energy For Sex, and More! Ask A Pastor Q&A with Pastor Chris de Monye Part 1
Tune into this incredible PART ONE episode of “Ask A Pastor”! The KS team had the pleasure of interviewing Pastor Chris de Monye and asking him all of the questions you sent in on Instagram! Don’t miss it.   Links from today’s episode: Intimacy Through Grief Episode chris@ ... Show More
37m 24s
Aug 2024
The Marriage Supper of the Lamb
We look now at the peak verse of the most famous biblical passage on marriage. It’s Ephesians 5:32, where Paul says, “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” He says everything he’s said about marriage has also been about Christ and the church. T ... Show More
48m 40s
Jul 2025
Love, Lust and Liberation
<p>On the surface, one of the most unattractive things about Christianity to our culture today is its view of sex; but if you look underneath the surface and get a better grasp on what is really taught, the Christian view of sex is one of the most attractive things about it.</p> ... Show More
45m 29s
Jan 2025
How Do I Feel and What Do I Need?
Have you ever acted out sexually or given in to temptation and wondered, ‘Why did I do that?’ In this episode, we’re diving into the powerful connection between emotions, needs, and the choices we make. We’ll unpack why understanding your feelings and expressing your needs is ess ... Show More
26m 50s
Feb 2025
Reproductive Health - with Dr. Wickert
The topic of conceiving and bearing children can often feel difficult to discuss - but it doesn't have to be. What does scripture say about our desire to build families? This week Janet and Jocelyn welcome Dr. Dan Wickert, an OB-GYN and chairman of the hospital board for the West ... Show More
47m 57s
Aug 5
Sodom and Sexual Ethics | Paul Twiss and Jonny Ardavanis
In this powerful conversation, Dr. Paul Twiss explores what the Bible teaches about sexuality, marriage, and God's design for intimate relationships. We discuss the biblical response to sexual sin, pornography, homosexuality, and how the church should address these challenging to ... Show More
24m 38s