Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack all of your deep and burning questions.
Britt has an aeroplane/travel dilemma of her own - who owns the space UNDER the seat? Is it the person whose designated seat it is? Or is it the person behind whose legs go underneath?
Vibes for the week:
Britt - __mrsinthemaking Bridal & Hens Personalised Jewellery
Keeshia - Great Company with Jamie Laing Podcast - Spencer Matthews Our First Honest Conversation About Our Friendship
Then we get into your questions!
ARE TOPLESS WAITRESSES NORMAL?
I recently found out that my husband and his mates sometimes ‘order’ topless waiters during their Saturday night drinks. He says it’s only happened 2–3 times over our 6 years together, but I can’t help feeling like it’s a bit sleezy and icky. He never mentioned it to me before, and I only found out after poking and prodding when I could tell he was hiding something on the weekend. He insists it’s never his idea and that he just goes along with the group. It’s usually 4–5 friends, none of whom have wives or kids at home (unlike us), and I guess I’m wondering… am I overreacting for feeling put off by this? Would this bother anyone else, or is it something I should just let slide
MY FIL IS A PIG BUT ALSO HELPS ME OUT
Am I justified in being frustrated with my filthy father in law, or is it the price I have to pay for a reliable pet sitter? For context, my partner and I have been together for 10 years and are in our late 20’s. My partner’s father is much older, aged in his 70’s, and will pet-sit for 2-3 weeks when we go overseas for an annual holiday. He is always very willing to house sit as he loves the fur-babies, and he lives by himself in a caravan park, so he enjoys the space and company. We of course give him a bit of cash (usually $50-100) to use towards take out. Now here is my dilemma. Every time we return home from a holiday, I am extremely frustrated with the lack of cleaning and things I find around the house that give me the ick. Certain things are probably outside my FIL’s control - like his dandruff skin flakes all over the couch. However, there’s things that have frustrated me and I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable. Examples include: Tobacco flakes spilt on the floor and kitchen bench. - Food spillage on the kitchen floor and down the cupboard doors. - Putting dirty greasy Tupperware away because he refuses to use the dishwasher. Drapping his wet bath towel on the bed instead of 1 of the 3 towel racks in the bathroom. - And here is my main cleaning frustration. My FIL has a stoma bag (which I of course am not judging him for) and he obviously has to empty it. However, on multiple occasions, including most recently, we’ve come home to find a little bit of shit splattered on the toilet seat or even dripping down the bowl onto the floor. My partner will always clean up the toilet because I’m disgusted, but I also don’t think it’s my partner's responsibility to clean up after his dad when he is still mobile and capable.
I have tried to say things as they arise, for example, asking my FIL not to smoke directly next to the clean laundry outside. However, I don’t feel like I should have to say this to a grown man. I am trying to see the other side of it, including the fact that he lives alone, so maybe my FIL doesn’t realise how messy he can be. However, I would be mortified if I house-sat for someone and left shit on their toilet for them to clean when they got home. My partner it’s not confrontational and does not want to embarrass his father, but I think his father is a grown man and should have more respect for our home and cleaning up after himself, even if he is doing us a favour by looking after the pets. So - should my partner and I say something to him? Or do I just suck it up, bite my tongue and clean up when we return home from a trip?
IS EVERYONE A LITTLE UNHAPPY IN LOVE?
Is everyone struggling just a little bit in their relationship or is it just me?!? Lifers I need help. I love my partner, we have been together for 5 years and he is exactly what I was looking for in a lot of ways. He’s thoughtful, emotionally available, loyal, affectionate, hard working, funny and just generally a good partner. And although most of the time I truly feel he is my penguin. There are also times where I completely question it all, lately a lot more. I sometimes feel he’s a bit immature, with his favorite activity still getting drunk most weekends with “the boys”. He’s not very present (completely hooked on his phone) and is very snappy/impatient. And sometimes these traits really make me question it all. Do we want the same things (I rarely drink)? Do I want kids with someone who is so snappy and impatient? Anyways, I’m worried i’m just striving for a perfection that doesn’t exist, that i’ll always feel the grass is greener and I need to stop being so critical. So my question is, are most couples just slightly unhappy? Do we all question our relationships from time to time and just not talk about it? I feel like most couples I know are all struggling with something, but i’m not sure if that’s how it usually is/or if it’s just my circle
HUSBAND WANTS TO ‘WET THE BABY’S HEAD’ AND I THINK IT”S UNFAIR AND JUST A PISSUP
I want to know your ladies thoughts on a ‘wet the head’? For context, my husband and I are expecting a baby in April next year. We aren’t the first in our friendship group to have a baby, so therefore my husband has been to a few wet the head celebrations before. Here’s the kicker; it always turns into a huge piss up. I’m talking bulk beers and hours at the pub while the new mother is at home alone in the absolute trenches of having a new born baby and navigating postpartum hormones. My husband was talking about his ‘wet the head’ a few days ago when I mentioned I wasn’t keen on the idea. He was quite upset by this when I stated that I don’t understand why the men would get a celebration after childbirth when respectfully they’ve done nothing I understand their excitement around having a new born baby and them having a proud dad moment, but wouldn’t it be better received if they were at home being a supportive father/husband. What are your thoughts?
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