Contradiction in Coaching

Have you ever felt confused by seemingly conflicting messages in your coaching journey?

Whether you’re training to become a coach, have been in practice for years, or are simply curious about coaching, you’ve probably come across contradictions that make you pause and wonder: Is this right? Or is it wrong? Or… could it be both?

In this episode we dive into some of the most common contradictions that coaches face, especially during training and development. We reflect on the nuances we encounter as coach trainers and practitioners, unpicking the complexities of coaching goals, non-directiveness, sharing of self, professional boundaries, and the role of structure versus fluidity.

This episode was such a joy to record because it gave us space to validate the “messy middle” where so many coaches find themselves. That tension between learning the rules and evolving beyond them. It reminded me of how deeply coaching is rooted in conscious choice, relationship, and reflection.

From the irony of learning rigid frameworks only to outgrow them, to the beauty of coaching mastery as an art of flow and discernment, this episode is all about embracing paradox. If you're someone who finds themselves craving clarity while swimming in contradiction, you’ll likely feel seen here.

We also talk about the journey of personal growth alongside professional development, how who we are as people directly influences who we become as coaches. There are no hard and fast rules, and that’s both liberating and confronting.

We hope this conversation helps you feel a little more grounded in the uncertainty, and even a little more curious.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction: Why contradictions in coaching matter
01:00 – The goals paradox: clarity at the start… or at the end?
05:15 – Is coaching really non-directive?
08:35 – When and how to share your own experience as a coach
13:25 – What clients actually need and how this impacts your role
16:00 – Coaching bodies and different competency frameworks
17:40 – The craving for models: structure, freedom, and finding your style
22:00 – What coaching mastery really looks like
23:45 – Clients bring contradictions too
24:40 – Final reflections and invitation to explore coaching further

Key Lessons Learned:

• Goals aren’t always clear at the start and sometimes clarity is the goal.
• Non-directiveness is a principle, not a rule; conscious choice is the key.
• Self-disclosure can build connection when used with intention and care.
• Frameworks and models are useful, until they become restrictive.
• Mastery lies in flexibility, knowing when to hold structure and when to release it.
• Clients themselves live in contradiction, and your role is to help them make sense of that tension.
• Coaching isn’t just future-focused, it often invites reflection on the past.
• There are many paths to being a great coach and none of them are identical.

Keywords:

coaching contradictions, non-directive coaching, coaching goals, coaching frameworks, coaching training UK, becoming a coach, coaching vs mentoring, emotional coaching, self-disclosure in coaching, coaching mastery,

Links & Resources:

• mycoachingcourse.com – Take the quiz and explore our coaching training programmes

• https://igcompany.co.uk/