logo
episode-header-image
May 29
19m 12s

The Psychology of Restriction: Why We Fe...

Alana Kessler
About this episode

In this episode, Alana delves into the lesser-discussed side of food struggles—the fear of fullness and the fantasy that hunger means safety. She unpacks how the desire for emptiness often masks deeper emotional needs for control and order, especially among women who hold themselves to high standards. Alana explores the nervous system’s connection to restriction, the emotional roots behind fearing fullness, and how fullness itself can trigger vulnerability, shame, or a sense of taking up too much space. By tracing these patterns back to childhood experiences and societal messages, Alana guides listeners toward reframing fullness—not as failure, but as feedback and self-nourishment. Tune in as Alana offers practical steps to move from survival-driven restriction toward self-trust and a healthier, more trusting relationship with food and your body.

Leave us a voice message for our next Q&A episode!

Curious to learn more about working directly with Alana so that you can reconnect with your hunger and fullness cues, learn to eat whatever you want without rules, regulate your emotions and naturally lose weight so you can live with freedom and joy? Get started HERE! 

The Craving Reset Library is your on-demand toolkit for breaking emotional eating patterns in real time—without relying on willpower or rules. Inside, you’ll find fast-acting audio tools designed to interrupt cravings, regulate your nervous system, and retrain your brain to feel calm, clear, and in control. Whether it’s a 3-minute urge or a full-blown binge cycle, these resets put you back in charge. Click here to access the Craving Reset Audio Library and take control in the moment it matters most.

Explore more from Be Well by AK

Be sure to follow Alana on Instagram at @bewellbyak.

Takeaways

  • Desire often comes with feelings of unworthiness and shame.

  • Many women feel they must earn their desires through struggle.

  • Societal expectations can lead to downplaying one's desires.

  • Self-betrayal is a common coping strategy for women.

  • Practicing permission is essential for self-acceptance.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Desire and Shame

04:45 The Impact of Societal Expectations on Women

10:19 The Connection Between Desire and Self-Betrayal

17:31 Practicing Permission and Self-Acceptance

24:04 Reclaiming Your Right to Desire

Up next
May 22
Why High Achievers Feel Out of Control With Food Behind Closed Doors
In this episode, Alana shines a light on the hidden realities faced by high-achieving women who seem to have it all together on the outside, yet secretly struggle with emotional eating and bingeing behind closed doors. Drawing from her own journey and the experiences of the women ... Show More
27m 55s
May 15
Your Body Isn’t a Billboard: Detaching from the Need to Prove Your Worth Through Appearance
In this episode, Alana explores the subtle yet powerful pressure many of us feel to treat our bodies as billboards—using our appearance as proof of discipline, health, and success. She unpacks how this "body as billboard" mindset can turn eating into a performance, disconnecting ... Show More
22m 51s
May 8
Why Weight Loss Won’t Fix Everything: Breaking Free from the Fantasy Body
In this episode, Alana discusses the complex relationship between weight loss and emotional fulfillment. She emphasizes that while it's okay to desire weight loss, it should not be seen as the key to happiness or self-worth. Alana explores the fantasy of the 'ideal body' and how ... Show More
20m 50s
Recommended Episodes
Nov 2024
Ep 270 Why can’t I stop emotionally eating?
In an image-driven world, many people feel trapped in cycles of emotional eating, self-criticism, and self-sabotaging habits. Habits like nail biting or overeating become part of an identity that reinforces shame and fear of failure. The more we cling to these labels, the more is ... Show More
29m 53s
May 2024
Why Fighting Emotional Eating Got Easier: A No-Willpower Strategy Revealed!
Show NotesSummary:In this episode of The Weight Loss Mindset Podcast, host Rick Taylar explores the challenging topic of emotional eating, a common issue where individuals turn to food in response to stress, boredom, or other emotions, rather than hunger.Rick discusses the pitfal ... Show More
11m 46s
Jul 2021
Episode 76: Overcome Cravings and "Self Sabotage": Surf The Discomfort Curve
Episode 76: Overcome Cravings and "Self Sabotage": Surf The Discomfort Curve Visual Guide: The Discomfort Curve Mindfulbellie.com/discomfortcurve 1:1 Coaching with Ellie calendly.com/mindfulbellie Show Notes: One of the biggest reasons the current diet culture doesn't work longte ... Show More
39m 9s
Dec 2024
Ep 274 How Busyness Is Killing You
Do you feel trapped in an endless cycle of food struggles, constantly thinking about eating, weight, and body image? Have past solutions worked temporarily but failed to address deeper, lingering issues? Know that the root of the problem may run deeper than you realize. Unresolve ... Show More
40m 31s
Feb 2025
Stress-Proof Your Weight Loss: Rewire Your Brain and Break Free from Emotional Eating
Show Notes:Summary:Welcome to The Weight Loss Mindset Podcast, where we cut through the noise and bring you actionable insights for your health and happiness. In this episode, we tackle the rollercoaster of stress-eating and explore cognitive strategies to break free from emotion ... Show More
19m 21s
Dec 2024
Craving Control: Your Secret Weapon for Effortless Weight Loss After 40
Show NotesSummary:  In this episode of The Weight Loss Mindset Podcast, Rick delves into the complex world of cravings and how they can be transformed from obstacles into powerful allies in your weight loss journey, especially after 40.  Discover how hormonal changes, stress, sle ... Show More
9m 24s
Jan 2025
Craving Control: Rewire Your Brain's Reward System and Finally Make Peace with Food
Show NotesSummary:In this episode of The Weight Loss Mindset Podcast, we explore how to regain control over food cravings by understanding the brain’s reward system. The episode offers insights into how cravings are not a personal failing but a natural brain response, and it prov ... Show More
12m 37s
Nov 2024
2765: Is Eating for Comfort Okay? by Dr. Margaret Rutherford on Healthy Nutritional Habits & Emotional Wellbeing
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com.Episode 2765:Dr. Margaret Rutherford explores the nuances between comfort eating and binge eating, sharing personal stories of emoti ... Show More
12m 59s
Apr 6
Snack Attack or Stress Attack? How to Outsmart Emotional Eating
Show Notes:Summary: In this powerful episode, Rick Taylar digs into the psychology of emotional eating and why your cravings might be whispering more than just “I’m hungry.” Through humor, science, and some brutally honest truth bombs, you'll learn how to spot emotional eati ... Show More
22m 57s
Jan 2025
What the fuck to actually eat when you stop restricting
Hey Queens! In this episode, I’m talking about a question I get asked all the time: “What the f**k do I actually eat when I stop restricting?” It’s inspired by a lovely listener, Hedi, and so many of you who’ve shared the same struggle. I’m here to reassure you that, yes, it can ... Show More
22m 13s