May 1
18m 18s
If you’ve ever felt like you just can’t handle rejection, this episode is for you. Amanda Hess dives deep into rejection sensitivity—what it is, where it comes from, and how it affects the way we think and feel, especially for those who are neurodivergent or have experienced trauma.
Key Takeaways:
What is rejection sensitivity?
Amanda discusses how rejection sensitivity is the tendency to feel real or perceived rejection more intensely than others, leading to heightened emotions, misreading social cues, and sometimes overreacting to neutral interactions.
Why are some people more sensitive?
Neurodivergence, trauma, and constant invalidation can train us to expect rejection, often resulting in masking behaviors and self-doubt.
How does it show up?
Rejection sensitivity can ebb and flow depending on emotional capacity—think stress levels, sleep, confidence, and life events. When we’re vulnerable, small rejections can feel overwhelming and lead to negative thought spirals.
Recognizing emotional bias:
Amanda explains the difference between “clean pain” (the immediate feeling) and “dirty pain” (the stories we tell ourselves about what rejection means), and how the latter keeps us stuck.
Regulating your response:
Instead of trying to avoid or tolerate rejection, Amanda encourages listeners to grow their capacity for it. This means grounding yourself, breathing, and reminding yourself that rejection is just a feeling, not a confirmation of unworthiness.
A personal example:
Amanda shares a story about navigating tense conversations in her son’s basketball team group chat and how perspective can change emotional reactions.
Practical advice:
If rejection sensitivity is getting in your way, try to pause, notice your thought patterns, and ask yourself what else could be true. Focus on expanding your tolerance rather than avoiding difficult feelings.
Join the conversation:
Amanda offers support through her coaching membership, with live coaching calls, daily written coaching, and a private podcast. If you need more personalized help, you can book a free consultation.
Connect:
Join the membership: joinamanda.ca
Book a free call: amandahess.ca/bookacall
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Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess
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