In this episode, I sit down with my first-ever life coach, Maggie Reyes, a feminist marriage coach and the author of The Questions for Couples Journal. We dive deep into the social conditioning that shapes women’s lives—how we are raised to be “good” by constantly serving others, often at the expense of our own desires and well-being.
Maggie shares her insights on navigating the discomfort of wanting more for yourself, creating safety in self-discovery, and finding balance in relationships without losing yourself. We also explore how small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes in how you experience your life.
If you've ever felt stuck in over-functioning, struggling to put yourself on your own priority list, this conversation is for you.
Connect with Maggie:
🔹 Listen to The Marriage Life Coach Podcast
🔹 Visit MaggieReyes.com
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[00:00 - 02:30] | Introduction
- Welcome to the podcast!
- Introduction of special guest Maggie Reyes, a feminist marriage coach and author of The Questions for Couples Journal.
- Amanda shares that Maggie was her first life coach and how her marketing spoke directly to her experience as a Type A woman married to a Type B man.
- Maggie expresses her excitement to be on the show.
[02:31 - 07:45] | The Journey of Coaching & Walking Each Other Home
- Maggie and Amanda reminisce about their coaching journey together.
- Discussion of the Ram Dass quote: “We’re all walking each other home.”
- How coaching is about support rather than hierarchy.
- The power of having someone truly on your side.
[07:46 - 13:30] | The Role of Safety in Coaching & Feminism
- The importance of safety in transformation.
- How therapy provides safety (Stephen Porges’ quote: “Safety is the treatment”), and how in coaching, presence is the most powerful tool.
- The misconception that feminism is about hating men—it’s actually about equality.
- How patriarchal structures affect both men and women.
[13:31 - 19:15] | The ‘Good Girl’ Narrative & Performative Overgiving
- Women are raised to be performative in their goodness—doing what is considered "right" rather than what is right for them.
- The societal pressure to put others first and suppress personal desires.
- The idea of being selfish when prioritizing oneself.
- Real-life examples of how this manifests (e.g., feeling guilty about skipping a family barbecue).
[19:16 - 25:00] | Resentment & Overextension: How It Builds & Why It’s a Red Flag
- Women over-functioning, over-committing, and then experiencing resentment.
- The concept of low-grade annoyance—a warning sign that needs attention.
- How burnout sneaks up when you always “do unto others” but never do unto yourself.
- The social conditioning behind why women struggle to say no.
[25:01 - 31:00] | Learning to Want Again: The Importance of Small Desires
- Women often lose touch with their own desires.
- The practice of reconnecting with small wants (e.g., picking a TV show, choosing breakfast).
- Amanda’s example: Wanting to be a singer on The Voice—allowing yourself to dream without judgment.
- Maggie’s personal example: Wanting lemonade at Gloria Estefan’s house!
[31:01 - 36:45] | Practical Steps: Reclaiming Time & Making Space for Yourself
- Reframing your identity beyond just being a mom or wife.
- “What if you had a third child—and that child was you?” (A great way to think about self-care.)
- Learning to recognize red flags of overgiving.
- Starting with small changes—reducing unnecessary commitments instead of drastic life overhauls.
[36:46 - 42:00] | Handling Resistance & Discomfort from Others
- When you start setting boundaries, expect pushback.
- How to navigate disappointment from family, kids, or partners.
- Viewing parenting differently: Kids learn resilience by experiencing disappointment.
- The role of safety when stepping into your power—why taking small steps matters.
[42:01 - 46:00] | Final Thoughts & Where to Find Maggie
- Recap of the biggest takeaways:
- Noticing performative behaviors.
- Prioritizing yourself without guilt.
- Understanding feminism as empowerment, not opposition to men.
- Amanda thanks Maggie for the conversation.
- Maggie shares how to connect with her:
- Encouragement for listeners to reflect on what they truly want.
Maggie Reyes is a Master Certified Life Coach and Modern Marriage Mentor who specializes in helping driven, ambitious women create their best marriages, without waiting for their partners to change or adding more work to their lives.
She is the creator of The Marriage MBA Program, a 6 month mentorship in creating a successful marriage using principles from positive psychology, cognitive science and simple coaching tools that you can learn today and apply tomorrow.
Maggie is the author of the best selling Questions for Couples Journal which has over 3,000 4 star ratings on Amazon.
And she is the host of the The Marriage Life Coach Podcast which is consistently ranked among the top 2 percent podcasts out of over 2 million podcasts tracked by ListenNotes.
When she isn’t teaching or coaching she loves obsessing over Formula 1 Racing, Bridgerton, reading fan fiction, sexy romance novels and watching superhero movies and Mexican Rom Coms with her hubby.
If you want to learn how to stop doing the things that poison the love in a relationship and start doing the things that make love stronger, you can find the tools to create your best marriage at MaggieReyes.com.
Links
https://maggiereyes.com/
https://maggiereyes.com/podcast/
https://www.instagram.com/themaggiereyes/
Maggie Reyes
Life Coach + Marriage Mentor
www.MaggieReyes.com
To listen to The Marriage Life Coach Podcast Click Here.
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