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May 2025
15m 22s

What Dating Securely Has Taught Me

Jessica Da Silva, LMFT
About this episode

In this personal episode, I take you behind the scenes of a recent dating experience that stirred up both growth and grief — and revealed just how far I’ve come on my attachment healing journey.

As someone who used to operate from a fearful avoidant (leaning anxious) attachment style, I now move through dating with much more self-trust, clarity, and compassion. But that doesn’t mean the old patterns don’t still surface — especially when connection, chemistry, and unmet needs collide.

I’ll walk you through how I navigated this dynamic from a secure place, the conversations I had, and ultimately, how I honored myself enough to walk away when alignment wasn’t there — even when it felt good in the moment.

If you’ve ever struggled to balance attraction with long-term compatibility, or felt pulled between your heart and your values, this episode is for you.

Takeaways include:

  • The difference between chemistry and compatibility

  • How to identify your unmet needs in real time

  • Why even "kind and available" people might not be the right fit

  • What it looks like to actually date from your secure self

  • How to exit with integrity when your paths don’t align

🎧 Plus: Only 2 more days to join the My Secure Self Membership for just $1 your first month! Get access to group coaching, monthly workshops, and tools to help you build secure, aligned relationships HERE.


Looking for 1:1 support, learn more about attachment coaching here.

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