logo
episode-header-image
Oct 4
17m 46s

Passive vs. Rigid Anxious Attacher: Two ...

Jessica Da Silva, LMFT
About this episode

Not all anxious attachers look the same. In this episode, I explore the Passive Anxious Attacher, who protects against loss by shrinking back, and the Rigid Anxious Attacher, who holds on tightly to feel secure. You’ll learn how to tell the difference, why both stem from the same fear of abandonment, and how to begin moving toward secure connection.

💛 Learn more about my Attachment Coaching Services or book a free Clarity Call through the link here.

Up next
Sep 28
Passive vs. Rigid Avoidant Attacher: Two Faces of Avoidant Attachment
Not all avoidants look the same. In this episode, I break down the two common ways avoidant attachment shows up in relationships: the Passive Avoidant, who protects themselves by shrinking back, and the Rigid Avoidant, who protects themselves through control and high standards. Y ... Show More
17m 56s
Sep 5
What Does Relationship Compatibility Really Mean?
In this episode of Let’s Talk Attachments, we dive into what compatibility in relationships really means—and why it matters so much more than chemistry alone. I’ll break down how to recognize true alignment in core values, lifestyle choices, emotional needs, and long-term goals, ... Show More
29m 10s
Aug 22
Going Deep Too Soon vs. Secure Pacing in Dating
Diving deep too quickly in dating can feel exciting, but it often creates premature emotional bonds that blur your judgment of compatibility. In this episode, I explore why anxious and fearful avoidant attachers are especially prone to oversharing, rushing intimacy, and confusing ... Show More
14m 38s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 2025
Rewriting Limiting Beliefs - The KEY to Developing Secure Attachment
The core difference between people with insecure attachment and those who are securely attached isn’t just behavior - it’s what they believe. About themselves. About others. And about love. In this episode, we explore how your beliefs silently shape your relational behaviour & ho ... Show More
34m 20s
Sep 2024
#155: Fearful Avoidant and Anxious Attachment: Key Similarities & Differences
In today's episode, we're diving into fearful avoidant (AKA disorganised) attachment and how it differs from anxious attachment.  We’ll explore how both types are driven by a fear of abandonment and intense emotions, yet differ in their approaches to intimacy, conflict ... Show More
22m 14s
Oct 2024
#161: How Fearful Avoidant Attachment Shows Up In Relationships
In this episode, we’re diving into how fearful avoidant attachment (also known as disorganised attachment) plays out in relationships. If you identify with this attachment style, you might notice certain patterns in your relationships that feel confusing or contradictory. Key poi ... Show More
20m 49s
Mar 2025
#181: The Demonisation of Avoidant Attachment (& Why It Has to Stop)
In today’s episode, I’m diving into a topic that’s both close to my heart and foundational to how I approach this work: the widespread demonisation of avoidant attachment — and why we need to stop doing it.It’s all too common, especially in online spaces, for people (often those ... Show More
26m 39s
Oct 2024
Dismissive Avoidant Vs. Fearful Avoidant - Key Similarities, Differences & Their Relationship Needs!
Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for free for 7 days! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=yt-10-21-24&el=podcast Become a certified relationship coach to sec ... Show More
20m 26s
Jul 2024
Understanding Anxious Avoidant Attachment in Relationships
In this video, I delve into the complexities of the anxious-avoidant attachment style in relationships, breaking it down into simple terms to help you better understand. Learn about the dynamics, challenges, and ways to navigate this unique attachment style to cultivate healthier ... Show More
8m 15s
Apr 2025
#185: How Caretaking Impacts Our Relationships
REGISTER FOR MY NEW FREE TRAININGMany of us are taught that taking care of the people we love is the ultimate expression of devotion. But when caring crosses the line into caretaking, it can quietly create deep imbalances in our relationships.Caretaking often stems from anxiety, ... Show More
21m 30s
Jun 2025
#193: The Gifts of Anxious Attachment
While it’s easy to focus on the struggles of anxious attachment — overthinking, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment — there are also real gifts that often go hand-in-hand with these attachment patterns. When held with awareness and intention, many of the traits we associate with ... Show More
12m 15s