logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2025
10m 30s

The Sneaky Mental Rule that Lets your Em...

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam
About this episode

Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

So many of us have picked up messaging that emotions are negative or embarrassing, that they need to be controlled, that crying is shameful. We’ve internalized a mental rule that says something like, “I don’t let myself feel so-called “negative” emotions, because that makes me weak.” And then, in trying to not have feelings, we accidentally let them control us.

You can influence your feelings by how you think, how you act, and the choices you make. But if you have a rule that “you have to control your emotions” it doesn’t leave you with many options other than avoidance.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books 

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Up next
Oct 3
Armoring - How Trauma Gets Embodied as Tension, Chronic Pain, Jumpiness or Emotional Walls
When we understand how trauma shows up in the body, armoring is an important aspect. It includes muscle tension, chronic pain, and constant hypervigilance. Learn the skills to regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership FREE Grou ... Show More
19m 33s
Sep 26
Healing from Childhood Trauma - w/ Past Tense Author Sacha Mardou
Sacha Mardou wrote/drew an amazing book about healing from childhood trauma and her work in therapy, specifically IFS or Internal Family Systems Therapy. Sacha's website: https://ifscomics.com/ Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.thera ... Show More
40m 42s
Sep 23
A nerdy deep dive into ADHD and Anxiety
Let’s talk about the link between Anxiety and ADHD—how executive function challenges fuel both conditions and how you can improve anxiety with an ADHD approach. Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Down ... Show More
29m 40s
Recommended Episodes
Jul 2023
185 // My 2 Step Process to Go From Over-Committing & People Pleasing to Saying No & Setting Self Love Filled Boundaries Respectfully & With Confidence
Hey love, in today's episode I'm going to share with you the most practical 2 step process to stop autopiloting to saying YES to all the things & start moving into setting genuinely healthy boundaries.   Your time and your energy is precious. We are meant to steward it & ... Show More
10m 52s
Sep 19
Expand Your Perspective & Improve Your Mental Health With a Simple Therapy Tool
Tired of trying to think your way out of overthinking?Let me show you what actually works—in less than 30 minutes.Get immediate access to a free class now.Sometimes we get stuck in one way of seeing things—and it makes life feel smaller and harder than it needs to be. In this epi ... Show More
7m 58s
Jan 2024
How to Rewire Your Brain with Positive Self Talk with Lisa Mustard
In this episode I explore the transformative power of positive self-talk and its impact on mental health and emotional well-being. I dive into the nuances of nurturing a positive inner dialogue while cautioning against the pitfalls of toxic positivity. Before jumping into the mai ... Show More
12m 54s
Jul 9
268 | 3 Psychology Backed Steps to Rewire Your Brain & Step Into Your God Given Confidence & Identity
ACTIVATE: THE MEMBERSHIP |The online community & resource hub where faith, mental wellness & nervous system regulation come together to help you conquer overwhelm, create daily healthy habits & start living your best life.Join ACTIVATE here!SUBMIT A QUESTION TO THE PODCAST |Ask D ... Show More
9m 14s
Jan 2023
The Impact of Social Media on Mental Health: What to Know and What to Do - a Put It into Practice Episode
In this week’s Put It into Practice episode I'm sharing how social media affects our mental health. And I'm also discussing what to do when we find ourselves dealing with anxiety and depression due to being on social media. Have a question about therapy, mental health or relation ... Show More
12m 9s
Apr 2023
What Parents Need to Know: Addressing the Rising Trend of Teen Mental Health Issues - a Put It into Practice Episode
In this Put It into Practice episode, I'm giving an overview of Jonathan Haidt's article "The Teen Mental Illness Epidemic is International, Part 1: The Anglosphere", https://jonathanhaidt.substack.com/p/international-mental-illness-part-one. I'm also sharing signs to be on the l ... Show More
15m 54s
Mar 2025
Your Gut Is Controlling Your Mood—How to Heal Anxiety & Depression Naturally | Dr. Ellen Vora (Fan Fav)
Fan Favorite: This episode originally aired on March 16, 2022. What up, homies! It's your girl Lisa Bilyeu, and welcome back to the Women of Impact podcast, where we dive deep and come out stronger. Today, I have an episode that's a must-listen for anyone battling the weight of a ... Show More
58m 9s
Aug 29
Why Focusing On Other People Leads to Burnout & A Therapy Method To Self Reflect, Improve Mental Health
Tired of trying to think your way out of overthinking?Let me show you what actually works—in less than 30 minutes.Get immediate access to a free class now.Always waiting for other people to change? That’s the fastest road to resentment and emotional chaos. In this episode Rebecca ... Show More
20m 2s
Sep 12
Stop Your Controlling Behavior & Reduce Overwhelm To Get Some Inner Peace Back
Tired of trying to think your way out of overthinking?Let me show you what actually works—in less than 30 minutes.Get immediate access to a free class now.Why Controlling Behavior Backfires (and How to Let Go Without Losing Stability)Control feels safe, but it’s actually fear in ... Show More
13m 44s