The one mistake many parents make when disciplining their children is forgetting to teach the underlying skills needed for emotional regulation. Focusing only on consequences without addressing skill development leaves children unable to manage emotions like disappointment and frustration.
• The purpose of discipline should be education, not just punishment
• Children need to learn how to regulate emotions like disappointment before they can behave appropriately
• Co-regulation requires parents to first recognize and manage their own emotional state
• When children are dysregulated, they need connection before correction
• Creating "scaffolding" helps build skills gradually through small, manageable challenges
• Waiting until both parent and child are regulated before teaching new skills
• Skills like patience, emotional expression, and frustration tolerance must be explicitly taught
• Disciplining without teaching skills creates a cycle of continued misbehavior
• Reflection helps parents see past the behavior to the emotional need underneath
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