What if your fear of rejection isn’t a flaw—but a survival strategy passed down through generations?
This week’s guest is Vera Milan Gervais, a speaker, author, and success mentor who has spent her life pushing against the systems that tried to define her. From being disowned by her father at 19 to rewriting the story of a childhood medical trauma, Vera has learned how to reclaim power in the face of rejection.
In this episode, she shares the scientific and ancestral roots of rejection sensitivity, the ways women are taught to reject first before being rejected, and what it means to finally become yourself—even if you were told you were defective from the start.
If you’ve ever been called “too much,” if you’ve ever muted yourself to stay safe, if you’ve ever rejected a dream before it had the chance to reject you—this conversation will meet you there.
In This Episode, We Cover:
Why women are wired to fear rejection—and how it ties to historical survival
The “identity ceiling” that keeps us from becoming who we truly are
What happened when Vera’s father called her the black sheep
The medical trauma that became her first memory
How we self-abandon in order to stay lovable
Why rewriting your story might mean confronting everything you were taught
Links & Resources:
Find Vera’s work and coaching offerings:
https://veragervais.com
Read The Wordz We Wear on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Wordz-We-Wear-confidence-create/dp/1998754448/
Chapters:
00:00 How Rejection Sensitivity Becomes a Survival Strategy
06:45 “We Were Bait Without a Man”: The Female Social Conditioning Around Rejection
13:20 When Women Pre-Reject Themselves to Stay Safe
19:12 “My Father Called Me the Black Sheep”
24:08 Getting Married Young—and Being Disowned for Leaving
26:58 The Childhood Medical Trauma That Changed Everything
33:41 The Real Meaning of Belonging and Self-Trust
41:17 The Power of Rewriting Your Story