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Mar 2025
1h 23m

Family Therapist: The #1 Sign You Were R...

Lewis Howes
About this episode

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Most of us unknowingly live under what family therapy expert Jerry Wise calls "the family trance" – a powerful force that shapes our identity without our awareness. After 45 years helping thousands break free from dysfunctional family patterns, Jerry reveals how our adult struggles often stem from inherited emotional programming that creates a "malignant normalcy" within us. Through our conversation, he shares the revolutionary concept of self-differentiation – the courageous process of separating your true self from your family's expectations while remaining emotionally connected. When Jerry states "whatever issues I leave unresolved, who gets to resolve them? My children," I realized this might be the most transformative conversation we've had about breaking generational patterns. His profound insight that "it's never too late to have a happy childhood" offers hope to anyone trapped in cycles of criticism, people-pleasing, or emotional reactivity that originated in their family system.

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In this episode you will learn:

  • Why criticizing yourself harshly is often your "family self" talking, not your authentic voice
  • How to identify if you had narcissistic parents and what that means for your adult relationships
  • The three levels of resistance you'll face when changing family dynamics and how to overcome them
  • Why trying to change your parents is futile, but changing yourself transforms the entire system
  • The difference between setting outer boundaries and the crucial inner boundaries needed for healing
  • How the "fantasy" of finally getting parental approval keeps many adults emotionally stuck
  • Why it's never too late to have a happy childhood through self-parenting and inner child work
  • The three core elements needed for lasting change: self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-differentiation

For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1747

For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:

Gabby Bernstein – greatness.lnk.to/1714SC

Jason Wilson  – greatness.lnk.to/1725SC

Mel Robbins – greatness.lnk.to/1710SC

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