logo
episode-header-image
Feb 2025
1h 2m

I Was Ready to Write About My Domestic A...

Slate Podcasts
About this episode

When comedian Chelsea Devantez began writing her memoir, she knew exactly where to start: with a teenage relationship that spiraled into domestic violence. But when she submitted her draft, lawyers informed her she legally couldn't name her abuser or detail what happened.

"I threw the book in the trash for a few months," Chelsea recalls. After consulting friends and family, she decided to continue writing with a new approach. "Instead of telling my story, I would try to tell the story of how our systems are set up to silence."

In this episode, Chelsea and Anna also discuss how a complex PTSD diagnosis helped explain puzzling personality traits, friendship breakups, family secrets, and navigating a male-dominated, rich kid comedy scene.

Chelsea Devantez’s memoir is called I Shouldn't Be Telling You This: (But I'm Going to Anyway), and she has a podcast called Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast. 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay and Andrew Dunn.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Up next
Oct 7
A War Photographer on the Limits of Bearing Witness
When Peter van Agtmael went to Iraq in 2006 to embed with the U.S. military, he was 24 years old and confident that his pictures could help end an unjust war. Two decades later, after documenting combat deaths overseas and then turning his camera lens on America, he's learned the ... Show More
56m 4s
Sep 30
Why Job Hunting Feels So Grim Lately, Especially for Gen Z
This week, Anna learns about how frustrating it is to apply for jobs these days, especially for early-career folks, even those with college degrees. First, Jeopardy champion Brendan Liaw talks about what it was like to list his job as “stay-at-home son” on national television. Th ... Show More
50m 29s
Sep 23
From Brazilian Butt Lifts to Botox: Your Beauty Confessions
Over the past few months, we've been asking you to tell us stories about your beauty interventions. You told us about feeling caught between viewing appearance improvements as vanity and recognizing how much looking a certain way affects your relationships, career, and self-worth ... Show More
1h 3m
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2024
Sex Boundaries & Gen Z's 'Oprah'
Subscribe to Mamamia She’s just like Oprah except she’s blonde, white and 30 years old. Who is Alex Cooper, what’s her Daddy Gang and why did Kamala Harris choose her podcast to start her media blitz of America just weeks before the election? Plus, what happens when a world-respe ... Show More
43m 9s
Oct 2024
Forces Of Nature: A Conversation On Childhood Trauma with Gina Demillo Wagner
In case you didn't know, we're still making episodes that are available exclusively on Nora's Substack! We wanted to give all of our listeners a little preview of our most recent episode! Consider joining Nora's Substack to listen to the rest of the episode, get additional bonus ... Show More
24m 2s
Jan 2025
Neko Case: ‘If I Didn’t Yell the Truth, What Good Was I?
In a new memoir out next week, the singer-songwriter Neko Case shares some painful childhood memories. In the studio with Anna Martin, Case is open and unapologetically angry as she describes being treated like “an unwanted child.” Both parents, she says, struggled with trauma an ... Show More
40m 55s
Sep 2024
Mia Farrow’s Memoir What Falls Away (with Armida López)
Chelsea welcomes actor and filmmaker Armida López to unpack Mia Farrow’s memoir, “What Falls Away.” They explore Mia’s life, from her Hollywood upbringing as the daughter of director John Farrow and actress Maureen O’Sullivan to her high-profile relationships with Frank Sinatra, ... Show More
1h 10m
Aug 2014
Emotional Control & A Daughter’s Disappearance
Kathryn interviews award-winning psychotherapist Jude Bijou MA MFT, author of “Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life”. Bijou says we can't control which fearful, fretful, and anxious thoughts pop into our brain. But we can control how we respond to those ... Show More
54m 44s
May 2024
Louise Thompson - ‘I asked myself: Am I alive?’
TW: this episode contains graphic descriptions of birth trauma and PTSD. You might know Louise Thompson as the former Made in Chelsea star. Or the fitness influencer who launched two businesses and graced the cover of Women’s Health magazine twice. But when she gave birth to her ... Show More
1 h
Jun 2025
I Was a Time Out Magazine Bachelor (w/ Lauren Ashley Smith)
TV writer Lauren Ashley Smith (A Black Lady Sketch Show, Smith Sisters Live) joins Nicole to talk about how she met her wife the old-fashioned way - through Time Out New York’s Singles issue.Lauren reveals the strange public response to being a “bachelor” in a magazine, how her w ... Show More
59m 20s
Apr 2025
357: What if you were the girl locked upstairs?
A vulnerable girl, having already endured abuse from her schizophrenic mother, loses her freedom and innocence when a trusted adult lures her into an unthinkable decade of captivity. Today’s episode featured Tanya Kach. You can email Tanya at tnkach@gmail.com or find her on socia ... Show More
56m 59s
Feb 2025
A Forensic Analysis of Meghan Markle’s Announcement
After trademark troubles and delays with her original brand, our favourite ex-royal is giving it another go. Meghan Markle's new Instagram teaser still gives us those dreamy Montecito mansion vibes, but now with a different name and (presumably) fewer jams. Is this a strategic pi ... Show More
38m 37s
Feb 2025
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
Chelsea Handler (I’ll Have What She’s Having, Dear Chelsea, Chelsea Lately) is a comedian, producer, and best-selling author. Chelsea returns to the Armchair Expert to discuss appreciating words more than gifts, having the best sex of her life at 50, and how funny it is that peop ... Show More
1h 45m