Hardly anyone understands this, but when you spend your life pursuing people who aren’t into you and won’t commit to you – guess who’s the avoidant? You are. Even though you’re devastated when they reject you and you pine away for them after it’s over, there’s something about the way you *know* it can never work out that sets you free to love without reservation. You can love deeply, but keep your options open, and never feel trapped. But you'll always feel grief, which may be wearing like a cozy blanket that keeps the cold wind of actual *choices* in your life away from you. *That* is avoidance. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has done this for years, but now, the possibility of real love has appeared in her life.
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