logo
episode-header-image
Oct 2024
1h 12m

Conflict Is Normal. Here's How To Keep I...

10% Happier
About this episode

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, a Washington Post contributing columnist, and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict. She has written three award-winning, nonfiction books about three very different subjects: High Conflict, The Smartest Kids in the World, and The Unthinkable. 


In this episode we talk about:

  • The key differences between healthy conflict and high conflict
  • Five key steps for getting out of or avoiding high conflict
  • Why it's a golden age for so-called conflict entrepreneurs; and how to spot them in your orbit
  • 'Looping' – a key technique that changed Amanda's life (and Dan's)
  • How to set good boundaries while not giving up on people
  • One of the most reliable antidotes to all forms of bias, something called contact theory
  • Thoughts on how to interact with the news and social media during a presidential election
  • The very good reasons to avoid humiliating your opponent. She calls humiliation the nuclear bomb of emotions
  • And much more



Related Episodes:

Fight Right: The Science of Healthy Conflict | Drs. John and Julie Gottman

How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy


Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes


Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/amanda-ripley-843


Additional Resources:


Up next
Today
Why Work Feels So Hard — And What to Do About It
<p dir="ltr">We're bringing you an episode of one of our favorite podcasts, <a href= "https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos"> The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos</a>, on which Dan was a guest.<br /> <br /> We can spend a lot of time working ... Show More
1h 2m
Nov 21
The Dharma of Anxiety and Depression | Leslie Booker
<p dir="ltr">Anxiety. Depression. Perfectionism. Dan and meditation teacher Leslie Booker get real about how these challenges show up in their own lives — and how mindfulness, community, and sometimes medication can actually help. Recorded live at New York Insight, this conversat ... Show More
31m 12s
Nov 19
How To Get Out Of Your Head: Joseph Goldstein and Sam Harris on Nirvana, Non-Clinging, Non-Duality, and the Best Way to Meditate
<p dir="ltr">Which is the best path to freedom?</p> <p dir="ltr"><a href= "https://www.dharma.org/teacher/joseph-goldstein/">Joseph Goldstein</a> is a cofounder of the <a href= "https://www.dharma.org/">Insight Meditation Society</a> and the <a href="https://www.buddhistinquiry.o ... Show More
1h 31m
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2024
How to Have *Healthy* Conflict with Amanda Ripley
351. How to Have *Healthy* Conflict with Amanda Ripley  Conflict expert and investigative journalist, Amanda Ripley, is back to give us a conflict resolution 101 guide and delve into some real-life examples from Abby and Glennon’s relationship.  Discover:  -The best way to diff ... Show More
1 h
Aug 2024
985: Boosting Confidence and Slashing Anxiety through Great Boundaries with Abby Medcalf
<p>Abby Medcalf discusses how to set firm boundaries and keep negativity from ruining your day.&nbsp;</p><p><br></p><p><strong>— YOU’LL LEARN —&nbsp;</strong></p><p>1) What most people get wrong about boundaries<strong>&nbsp;</strong></p><p>2) How to stop others from hijacking yo ... Show More
41m 33s
Jul 2024
Handling Conflict Right with Amanda Ripley
330. Good vs. High Conflict: Amanda Ripley On Engaging Effectively Conflict expert and investigative journalist, Amanda Ripley, delves into the complex nature of conflict and how it shapes our lives. The discussion challenges the conventional negative view of conflict and explor ... Show More
57m 57s
Feb 2024
816. How Travel is THE Catalyst for Transformation
Happy Thursday Heal Squad. To keep up the theme of life changing experiences and trips from this week's episodes, in today’s throwback we uncover the surprising connection between vacations and success. We discuss the true essence of personal growth as we delve into the significa ... Show More
1h 11m
Nov 2024
#378 A Little Less Toxic with Shawna Holman
<p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/775589/open_sms">Send us a text</a></p><p>This week on The Less Stressed Life, I’m so excited to welcome Shawna Holman, founder of A Little Less Toxic and bestselling author of <em>A Healthier Home</em> a ... Show More
45m 48s
Sep 2024
Nicole LePera: How to Break the Cycle of Trauma Bonds & Stop Toxic Relationship Habits
<p>What are your emotional needs?</p> <p>How do you communicate them clearly?</p> <p>Today, Jay welcomes back Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, best-selling author, and founder of the SelfHealers Circle, a global community for self-healing. She is the author of the New ... Show More
1h 16m
Dec 2024
The Unhealthy Relationship: How to Let Go of The Wrong Person and Choose Yourself
Jillian dives deep into the emotionally charged topic of letting go, especially when it comes to relationships that are very unhealthy, misaligned, or emotionally unsafe. Sharing personal anecdotes, hard truths, and actionable steps, she explores why we cling to relationships tha ... Show More
54m 25s
Jan 2025
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
Today we’re talking about how to build healthy relationships — with ourselves and others — after enduring toxic relationships with both. 1. Signs of emotional toxicity in romantic relationships – and what finally made Lily get out of her unhealthy relationship. 2. How to begin r ... Show More
1h 5m
Jul 2024
206 - Stress & Sleep With Daniella Sax
Physiotherapist Danielle Sax, after overcoming a stress-related illness in 2003, became passionate about the mind-body connection. She aims to empower individuals to embrace their true selves without sacrifice. In her book, she discusses overcoming the fear of inadequacy. As an i ... Show More
44m 33s
Nov 12
Gabrielle Bernstein: The Simple 4-Step Method to Heal Anxiety, Stop Overthinking, and Stop People-Pleasing for Good
Have you been feeling anxious lately? Do you notice when your mind starts to spiral? Jay welcomes back his good friend and New York Times bestselling author Gabrielle Bernstein for a deep and inspiring conversation about true inner healing. Together, they unpack Gabby’s latest bo ... Show More
1h 21m