logo
episode-header-image
Oct 2024
33m 12s

Episode 335: How To Have Good Sex

DR. JUSTIN LEHMILLER
About this episode

If you had to define “good sex” in just three words, what would they be? In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the key things that come to mind when people are asked this question. There are 20 common responses to this, which constitute the main ingredients of the kind of sex we all want to be having. We’re going to dive into some of those ingredients and talk about tips for how to incorporate them into your sex life so that you can experience more pleasure, connectedness, and fun in the bedroom.

My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled Good Sex will be published in February 2025.

Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

  • Why is it useful to think about sex as being akin to cooking?
  • What are some of the key ingredients, seasonings, and spices that make for good sex?
  • How can we make sex fun again?
  • How can we experience more connectedness to ourselves during sex?
  • How can we get better at communicating about sex?

You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on FacebookTwitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on AppleSpotifyGoogle, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Up next
Yesterday
Episode 412: When Did People Start Practicing Kink And BDSM?
Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey hit the scene, it seems as though kink and BDSM have become ubiquitous in popular media. But here’s the thing: just because kink went mainstream in the last decade or so doesn’t mean that it’s new. In fact, the roots of BDSM trace back centuries. A ... Show More
34m 53s
Jul 4
Episode 411: Debunking Myths About Men’s Sexuality (Essential Listen)
Men’s sexuality is often described as being pretty simple. Sex is seen as being easy for guys because they’re always in the mood and sex is just a physical thing for them. The reality of male sexuality, however, is far more complicated, and we’re not doing anyone any favors by ov ... Show More
39m 15s
Jul 1
Episode 410: Is Porn Use A Problem In Your Relationship?
One in five couples report that porn has become a problem in their relationship. So why is porn such a common source of conflict, and what can we do about it? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people in relationships use porn, what fights about porn are really abou ... Show More
39m 56s
Recommended Episodes
Mar 2025
Your Guide to Better Sex, Intimacy, & Love From a World-Leading Sex Therapist
In this episode, you are going to learn how to have amazing sex, deeper intimacy, and create real, lasting love. If you feel like intimacy with your partner is rare, your desire is low, or that your marriage is even sexless, this conversation is for you. Here to deliver the most ... Show More
1h 20m
May 6
EP437 - Tell Me What You Want: Tips for Talking About Sex
Welcome to Episode 437 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm excited to be joined by Brittany Steffen, LMFT, who speaks to me about how couples can navigate and deepen their sexual communication.  In this episode, Brittany and I discuss the kinds of conversations couples should ... Show More
43m 47s
Dec 2024
290 | We’re Only Getting Better: Six Years of Sex Stories
A mailbag episode of questions and celebrations, plus Kimberly joins Wyoh for reflections on six years of sex podcast learnings.  00:00 What we’ve learned about human connection10:04 How we’ve noticed people relate to sex17:08 What Kimberly has learned about herself23:48 What Wyo ... Show More
1h 45m
Feb 2025
107: Forget What You Thought You Knew About Good Sex and Start HERE
Beyond Pleasure: Three Keys to Truly Fulfilling Sex Sex is at the intersection of life and humanity. For the majority of us, it’s how we got here and for parents, it’s how we will continue on after we are gone. We often hear the term “better” sex, which begs two questions: what d ... Show More
39m 24s
Jul 2024
#1 SEX Doctor: For Better Orgasms Do THIS, Less Sex Can Be Better, Dr Karen Gurney
Follow to help grow our incredible community! In this episode of "Exhibit A," Abbey Clancy delves into the complexities of sex and relationships withThe Sex Doctor, Dr. Karen Gurney, a leading clinical psychologist and psychosexologist.  Dr. Gurney has over 20 years of experience ... Show More
1h 32m
May 29
Ep. 252: How to Feel Sexy in a Long-Term Relationship with Sexologist Shan Boodram
Let’s talk about SEX, baby! Shan Boodram, a renowned sexologist and relationship educator, joins our self-love podcast to share powerful insights on how to feel sexy and confident in a long-term relationship. We explore the nuances of body-image insecurities and relationship dyna ... Show More
56m 42s
Jun 24
EP444 - Exploring Sex Tech Trends and Listeners’ Most Asked Q&A
Welcome to Episode 444 of the Sexology Podcast! Today, I'm excited to be joined by Lisa Schaefer VP of Marketing at Promescent, who speaks to me about the biggest trends reshaping sexual-health products and sex-tech innovation. In the first half of the episode, I dive into three ... Show More
35m 54s
Feb 2025
Sex: When To Say Yes & When To Say No
Today Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into the “taboo” topic of sex, offering advice on when to say yes and when to say no. This episode explores how partners can navigate differences in sexual desire by recognizing how things like stress, emotional connection, and personal prefer ... Show More
51m 21s
Feb 2024
S6 Ep11: Anal Sex: Fears, Preparations, Spontaneity and... Pregnancy?
In this episode, accredited sex and relationships therapist Cate Campbell and son Diggory Waite take listener questions on all things anal sex addressing how to do it safely, how to prepare properly, whether you can do it spontaneously and if you can get... pregnant? Want your se ... Show More
25m 45s
Jan 2024
From Boss B*tch To Sexual Empowerment
Hey there, lovely listeners! 🌟 In today's episode, I'm getting real and personal. I'm diving into a voicemail from one of you - yes, a fabulous female listener who wasn't afraid to give me some constructive criticism. And guess what? I'm all ears and heart for it! We're talking ... Show More
42m 52s