For those of us who struggle with weight, are in a battle with food, or who have ongoing anxiety around eating, it’s no secret that these unwanted food and body challenges can have a myriad of possible causes.
Well, one of the more overlooked causes is something that many of us experienced when we were young:
➡️ Having an absentee parent.
This can mean:
👉 A parent who was never there, or was seldom there, or who came into and out of life in an erratic way.
👉 A parent who was around, but was emotionally absent and didn’t really show up for us in a meaningful way.
👉 Spending time in foster care, or being under the care of different relatives or friends because our parents were somehow unable to consistently parent us.
So how can having an absentee parent impact our relationship with food, body and weight?
When a child has an absentee parent, they experience that absence as a lack of love.
The child thinks, “If my mother or father isn’t communicating love and acceptance in a way that really lands for me, then something must be truly wrong with me. So I have to do something to be more lovable.”
The child might become a people pleaser, or become obsessed with winning approval. And for many young people, they eventually turn to their body to win that approval.
“If I can weigh the right amount and eat the right food and have the ideal body, then I will be lovable.”
And so begins a life of dieting, food restriction, binge eating, emotional eating, and a constant battle with food. 💔
This is exactly what Marc David’s guest coaching client, Maxine, has been experiencing for decades – and that she explores with Marc in this episode of The Psychology of Eating Podcast.
Maxine, age 58, was placed in foster care for 5 years at a young age. She loved her mother deeply, and couldn’t understand why her mother gave her away. She wondered how she could possibly be lovable if her own mother gave her away?
How does a child make sense of their world when the person who brought them into it has abandoned them?
That’s what Maxine has been grappling with throughout her adulthood, even as she’s raised 4 amazing kids of her own.
What Maxine hasn’t quite connected is how her mother’s abandonment has affected her relentless battle with food – including daily binge eating, weight, food anxiety, and harsh judgment towards her body.
So how ARE they connected? Is there something Maxine can uncover in the relationship with her mother that will shine light on why she’s struggled with food and body for so long?
And if so, how can Maxine begin to find healing from absentee parenting syndrome – and allow that to transform her relationship with herself and her body?
Episode highlights:
🌟 How our relationship – or lack thereof – with our parents can mirror our relationship with food and body.
🌟 The ways that absentee parent syndrome can cause us to reject and abandon ourselves later in life.
🌟 How to spark self-love when we never got that from our parents.
🌟 Healing our relationship with our parents when they’re no longer alive.
🌟 Why letting go of “longing for” a different body is so important to maturing into our Royal Archetype, and how we can begin to embrace ourselves, as we are.
For those of us whose parents were not able to be there for us, Marc has an important message – and one we hope you won’t miss!
Be sure to tune into this heartwarming, life-affirming episode…
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Learn more about us at The Institute for the Psychology of Eating: https://psychologyofeating.com/
Ready to call a ceasefire in your battle with eating, and find peace and freedom with food? Learn more about our newest program, The Emotional Eating Breakthrough! https://learn.psychologyofeating.com/
Interested in becoming a certified coach in eating psychology? Then tune in to hear Marc talk about our Mind Body Eating Coach Certification Training, and download a copy of our School Catalog: https://psychologyofeating.com/info-kit/ Learn our powerful, cutting-edge approach, and discover how you can create a unique career helping others find peace and freedom with food.
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