logo
episode-header-image
Jun 2024
16m 11s

#144: Why You Struggle to Let Go After a...

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on why you might struggle to let go of someone after a break-up - especially in circumstances where you logically know that they were "bad" for you.  This is such a common experience, particularly for those with anxious attachment - feeling pulled in two different directions between what you know is best vs what your body and attachment system is urging you to do.

We cover:

  • the importance of managing expectations after a break-up
  • why it's normal to miss your ex (without it meaning anything)
  • why unhealthy or dysfunctional relationships can be even harder to let go of
  • treating moving on as a choice rather than a feeling\

If you're going through a break-up, check out my Higher Love break-up course (& save 50% with the code HEYBABY).

Upcoming Events

Additional Resources



Up next
Aug 19
#202: How Attachment Styles Influence Friendship Dynamics
We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be.While attachment theory was originally devel ... Show More
21m 50s
Aug 12
#201: How to Actually Heal from a Breakup
If you’re someone with anxious attachment patterns, the ending of a relationship can bring up some of your deepest wounds: feelings of abandonment, not being enough, being too much, or fears that you’ll never find love again.In today’s episode, I’m offering a more grounded, inten ... Show More
22m 7s
Aug 5
#200: How to Like Yourself More
So many of us struggle with the idea of self-love. For me, and for many others, it can feel vague, aspirational, or simply out of reach. But what if, instead of trying to love ourselves, we focused on becoming someone we actually like?In today’s episode, I’m sharing five practica ... Show More
23m 3s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2020
#23: Rebound Relationships
In this episode I discuss rebound relationships after heartbreak. I go over what a rebound relationship is, why we tend to fall into them, what to do if you find yourself wanting one or in one, and how to fill the void left by a break up in healthy ways. To find out which Break U ... Show More
20m 7s
Aug 2022
#124 Breakups With Unfortunate Circumstances
On today's solo episode, we are talking more in depth about breakups due to unfortunate circumstances (i.e. addiction, mental health issues, relocating, family disapproval). How do you wrap your head around the relationship being great, except this one thing getting in the wa ... Show More
15 m
Feb 2024
#206 Hindsight In Your Breakup
In today's episode I talk all about hindsight when it comes to your breakup. I talk a lot about how hindsight can be used as a way to beat yourself up, how it shouldn't be used, and why it can make the breakup feel harder on you than it should. I also talk about how hinds ... Show More
20m 40s
May 2020
#7: When You Still Love Your Ex
In this episode I discuss what it means when you still love your ex, some of the reasons why you still love your ex, and what to do about it (and most importantly what NOT to do about it). To find out which Break Up Bestie Course is right for you, click the link to take the quiz ... Show More
19m 16s
Sep 2020
#28: Top Mistakes Making Your Break Up Harder
No break up is perfect, and we're all going to make mistakes. But there are certain things you can do in a break up that is going to make the healing process much harder and last longer. In this episode I go over the top 5 mistakes I see people make in break ups that make it ... Show More
25m 50s
May 2020
#9: How to Heal When Your Ex Was Your Whole Life
This episode was a request from a woman in my private Facebook group asking the question, "how do I get over a break up when my relationship was my entire life?" This is something SO many women go through and it makes going through a break up THAT much harder. In this episode I g ... Show More
22m 40s
Nov 2021
#87: Situationships
What is a situationship? In a situationship, the other person is getting ALL of the benefits of a relationship, without actually having to commit to put in the work of a relationship. In this episode, we talk more about what a situationship is, how it differs from friends with be ... Show More
25m 17s
Jul 2023
#172 What Happens IF Your Ex Contacts You
I talk a lot in this podcast about practicing the no contact rule but I wanted to do an episode on what to do IF you do hear from your ex and how to handle it. I go through when to respond, when not to respond, how to set proper boundaries, what it "means" if you hear from them, ... Show More
19m 14s
May 2024
#219 The Scary But Normal Thoughts During a Breakup
Breakups can cause such intense and obsessive thoughts, some of which can feel very scary. In today's solo episode I go through all the different thoughts you can expect after going through a breakup, why you shouldn't trust your thoughts, reminders that you're far fr ... Show More
26m 51s
Mar 2024
#209 Listener Episode: When Your Ex Hops Right Into a New Relationship
In today's listener episode I speak with a female listener who went through her breakup 2 years ago after a 3 year relationship. Even though the relationship wasn't great at the end she talks about how it still shocked her when he ended it, and we talk a lot about the pai ... Show More
44m 4s
Listen to millions of songs and podcasts on Anghami