logo
episode-header-image
May 2024
21m 47s

#141: "Is it wrong to hope my partner wi...

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on the listener question of "Is it wrong to hope my partner will change?" Wanting to change a partner is something most of us will relate to in one form or another, but it's essential that we understand where this urge is coming from and what it's trying to tell us about ourselves, our partner, and the relationship. 

Some of the things we cover:

  • wanting to change little things vs big things
  • how anxious and avoidant attached people differ in wanting to change their partner
  • changes that relate to core relationship needs
  • my advice when you're hoping they'll change without any signs that they want to

Upcoming Events

Additional Resources



Up next
Jul 8
#196: How & Why We Self-Abandon in Relationships
If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways.In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We ... Show More
19m 8s
Jul 1
#195: Two Simple Principles for a Healthy Nervous System
In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck.We’ll explore:Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the timeThe importance of deliberate stress expo ... Show More
11m 4s
Jun 24
#194: When You Don’t Feel Like a Priority in Your Relationship
If you often feel like you're fighting for a place in your partner’s life—like you’re always waiting to be chosen or noticed—this episode is for you.This is one of the most common experiences for people with anxious attachment: that persistent, painful feeling of being sidelined. ... Show More
18m 49s
Recommended Episodes
Mar 2024
450: Fixing Common Relationship Issues
Kelli Miller shares essential advice for tackling common relationship issues. From reigniting feelings of love to navigating differences in desires and managing the impact of social media, Kelli provides practical tips to enhance your relationship. Tune in for actionable insights ... Show More
41m 46s
Dec 2023
EP 0077 - How To Change My Partner
- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ In this episode, Joe covers one of the biggest & most ... Show More
16m 21s
Apr 2023
60: "I am so controlling of my partner but I don't know how to stop. Help!"
If you experience relationship anxiety, you might be familiar with the urge to try to change your partner so that you can feel better about your decision to be with them, and stop doubting the relationship so much! You’re not alone. It can be so hard to change this pattern, but I ... Show More
1 h
Aug 2023
418: Navigating Codependency And Relationship Agreements
Do you have feelings of anxiousness around your partnership? Maybe you feel you need your partner to complete you and feel whole? You might be showing some signs of codependency, but that's Ok! Listen to today's show to learn more about codependency, creating relationship agreeme ... Show More
45m 50s
Apr 2023
#275: Cracking the Code of Successful Relationships with Elizabeth Earnshaw
Themes: Dating, Relationships, Communication, Vulnerability, Boundaries, Marriage and Family Therapy, Marriage, Premarital Counseling Summary:  Join in the conversation with Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT + Gottman therapist. What are the benefits of premarital counseling? How can we b ... Show More
1h 8m
Jan 2024
#56 - "Are We Too Different?"
Have you ever wondered if you and your partner are too different? Too many personality clashes? “How will this ever work?”   In today’s episode I explore why personality differences can feel so threatening and challenging, some reframes about personality differences to help you s ... Show More
41m 51s
Apr 2024
[BONUS] Four Ways To Spark Your Relationship
Exciting Announcement: We're having a FLASH SALE on our online course, Spark My Relationship, ! Learn more and enroll here: SparkMyRelationship.com and use the code FLASH24 at checkout! Available until April 13th at midnight! Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life ... Show More
46m 41s
May 2024
457: Hard Relationship Truths You Need To Hear
Society, pop culture, media and the internet all paint a pretty rosy picture of what a relationship 'should' look like. Unfortunately, these models often don't reflect what a relationship will actually look like nor how to make them work well. Listen to today's show to understand ... Show More
39m 12s