logo
episode-header-image
May 2024
1h 1m

212: How to make the sustainable change ...

JEN LUMANLAN
About this episode

Sustainable Family Change: Parenting Framework for Lasting Results

Here's a little thought exercise: think back to what you were doing this time last year, right around Mother's Day (in the U.S...I know it has already passed in other places!).


 


What kinds of things were your children doing that were really endearing?


 


What kinds of things were they doing that drove you up the wall?


 


What kinds of fights (resistance, back-talk, stalling, tantrums, etc.) were you having with them a year ago?


 


Are you still having those same fights now (or variations on them)?


 


Do you wish you weren't still having those fights? That you could get out of the endless cycle of trying an idea you saw on Instagram, seeing a small change, and backsliding to where you were before?


 


Do you have all the tools you need so that a year from now you can look back and know, without any shadow of a doubt, that things are different now?


 


Today I'm going to introduce you to several parents who have made exactly this shift, and a framework you can use to make it for yourself.


 


It's not complicated. There are only five elements to it, and when they're all in place you can make sustainable change in parenting, as well as your own personal issues, work, and anything else you like.


 


It really is very possible to make sustainable family change in parenting happen by yourself. But all of the five elements have to be in place, and operating consistently, to make it work.


 

Losing focus on each one of the elements creates a different outcome, none of which are good:


  • Confusion


  • Anxiety


  • Making slow progress


  • Frustration


  • Being on a treadmill



 


If you can see already that one or more of these things are happening for you, the Parenting Membership will help you make the kind of sustainable change you want to see in your family.


 


The first thing you'll do after you join is have a 20-minute private call with my community manager, Denise, who will see which element you're struggling with the most right now, and connect you to specific resources to help.


 

Many of the parents who signed up this time last year are now in an entirely different place. Things like this are happening:


  • Their preschoolers can use a picture-based list to accurately identify their own feelings and needs;


  • Parents are recognizing how their own actions are creating shame in their children, and are working to address this;


  • Parents see which parts of their co-parenting struggles are theirs to own, instead of blaming their difficulties on their co-parents;


  • They can also see which parts are not theirs to own, make requests to get their needs met, and practice accepting their co-parent for who they are;


  • Siblings are fighting less, because they understand each other's needs and can find strategies to meet both of their needs.



 


Of course these parents still have hard days...but none of them looks back on who they were a year ago and thinks: "Aside from the fact that my kids are older, I don't really know what's different now from what it was a year ago."


 


I want this kind of sustainable family change for you, too. It's so much more than taking a short course to learn a new skill. It's a fundamentally different way of being in the world.


 


Join the waitlist and get notified when doors reopen in May 2025. Click the image below to learn more.


 



Other episodes mentioned


Resources mentioned:


Jump to Highlights


00:56 Introducing today’s topic


02:01 Parent Niloufar's positive transformation in parenting through the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop


08:56 Parent Lucinda, a member for five years, shares how the membership transformed her self-awareness and empathy towards others' needs.


14:21 The elements of sustainable family change in parenting: vision, skills, motivation, resources, and a plan


15:02 Understanding your family values can make parenting easier and more intentional.


21:14 Skills like managing behavior and communication help parents handle challenges.


33:10 Motivation drives positive changes and fosters resilience even in challenging situations.


36:07 Resources are vital for lasting change. The Parenting Membership helps align values with actions by making smart use of resources for meaningful progress and sustainable change.


42:10 A clear plan is essential for lasting change. It acts as a roadmap, guiding actions toward goals and ensuring alignment with values.


50:23 Invitation to the Parenting Membership


53:45 Member’s testimonials


 

Up next
Aug 4
251: Why Your 8-12 Year Old Should Start a Business (And How to Support Them Without Taking Over!)
What if the most powerful gift you could give your child isn't a college fund, but the skills to create their own income at age 10? When my daughter Carys started pet sitting, she didn't just earn money (although she does now have $759 in a retirement savings account that could b ... Show More
57m 31s
Jul 28
Episode Summary 02: The Anxious Generation: What Parents Need to Know
Are you worried that social media is destroying your teen's mental health? You're not alone. Jonathan Haidt's bestselling book The Anxious Generation has parents everywhere wondering if smartphones are rewiring their kids' brains and creating a mental health crisis. But before yo ... Show More
18m 43s
Jul 21
250: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 4): Should we ban cell phones at home?
In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen 'mental health crisis.' In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called 'teen mental health crisis. In Part 3, we began looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting wit ... Show More
38m 3s
Recommended Episodes
Jul 2024
#1 Menopause Doctor: 5 Daily Habits to Sleep Better, Feel Healthier, and Beat Menopausal Belly Fat
Have you saved your seats at Summit of Greatness 2024 yet?! Get them before they sell out at lewishowes.com/ticketsToday, we welcome Dr. Mary Claire Haver, who delves into the critical and often overlooked topic of menopause. Dr. Haver discusses the alarming lack of education and ... Show More
1h 17m
Jul 2024
588: The Metabolic Trifecta in Perimenopause and Menopause + HRT Basics and Best Practices to Thrive in Midlife with Jackie Piasta
Frustrated with not feeling heard by your primary care doc?  You’re not the only one who feels like your menopause symptoms and concerns are getting dismissed.  As women, we go through a whirlwind of changes– physically, emotionally, and hormonally– during perimenopause and menop ... Show More
1h 8m
Dec 2024
What Is Menopause?
Hot flashes, brain fog, sleepless nights—menopause is often shrouded in mystery and stigma. But what if it didn’t have to be? In this episode, we’re joined by, Dr. Louise Newson, a trailblazing GP and menopause specialist who’s work is transforming how the world understands this ... Show More
54m 20s
Mar 2025
433 - The Truth About Menopause EVERY Woman Needs to Hear with Tamsen Fadal
Is menopause really the end of feeling like yourself? In this powerful conversation, Tamsen Fadal breaks down the myths about menopause and shares science-backed solutions for managing symptoms, reclaiming your energy, and thriving through midlife. @TamsenFadal, Emmy Award-winnin ... Show More
43m 44s
Nov 2023
314: Insulin Resistance, Weight Gain and Exercise in Perimenopause & Menopause with Adele Johnston
Adele Johnston is on a mission to make menopause mainstream, and she’s back today for part two of our discussion about the journey into perimenopause and menopause. A world-leading and highly sought-after menopause expert, Adele is committed to breaking down female health taboos, ... Show More
50m 31s
Oct 2024
Honoring Every Phase of Womanhood EP28
There’s no doubt that women experience so much, both physically and emotionally. From our monthly cycles to the unpredictability of menopause, it's astounding how much we endure and yet thrive through.    Have you ever wondered why it feels so hard to live under the expectations ... Show More
22m 34s
Oct 2024
601: The Food You Eat Will Impact Your Menopause Journey + Foods to Ease Menopause and Promote Longevity with Dr. Federica Amati
It’s no secret that our bodies have to endure dramatic metabolic shifts throughout perimenopause, menopause, and beyond.  Things that used to feel effortless—like keeping your energy, mood, and weight in check—now take everything you’ve got. But what if there was an easier way?A ... Show More
59m 57s
Jan 2025
Dr. Mary Claire Haver: The Critical Truth About Women's Health After 30 & The Menopause Revolution | EP 857
Have you listened to the FULL EPISODE yet?"Osteoporosis is real and 50 percent of women will have an osteoporotic fracture before they die. If you fall and break your hip, your chance of death in one year is 30 percent with surgery." - Dr. Mary Claire HaverIn this eye-opening con ... Show More
7m 4s
Jun 2024
402 - Surprising (GOOD) News About Menopause | Lisa Mosconi
"Meopause Brain" is real. But it doesn't have to give you hot flashes and brain fog or destroy your libido. There's no shortage of bad news when it comes to menopause. But new science reveals menopause is NOT the beginning of the end. In today's #MarieTV, Dr. Lisa Mosconi — one o ... Show More
1h 23m
Sep 2022
Menopause
The menopause marks the permanent end to the reproductive phase of life and happens at an average age of 51. Symptoms can be significant and affect many body systems. In this podcast, Dr Anne Connolly discussed contraception in the perimenopausal years, the management of a woman ... Show More
18m 21s