logo
episode-header-image
Jul 2023
43m 18s

How To Deal With a Difficult Parent

Slate Podcasts
About this episode

Every year J. and her parents fly thousands of miles, meeting in the middle for their family vacation. A vacation that often leads to shouting and tears. J. and her father have a rocky relationship. Little disagreements often lead to her dad yelling and dredging up the past. It would be easy, in theory, to cut off the relationship before it got even more toxic. But J. wants to make it work. The question is, how? On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings on Nibarna Kannathasan, a psychotherapist who has helped people navigate tricky intergenerational conflict, especially when factoring migration and differing cultural expectations. She helps J. parse what she really wants from her father and figure out a way to start down that road while protecting herself along the way. 


If you liked this episode, check out: How To Walk Away From an Impossible Parent.


Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.


Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler.


If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Up next
Jun 2024
How To Move Past Your Toxic Ex
After Lin met Dave, their lives quickly became entangled. Lin joined Dave’s small business, made much-needed improvements, and charmed Dave’s family. The two also began a romantic relationship that lasted years. When it fizzled, Lin continued working at the company—and eventually ... Show More
44m 59s
Jun 2024
How To Be Lonely
Paula has a big family, lots of friends, and a girlfriend she adores. For most of her life, however, she has experienced an underlying and unshakeable sense of loneliness. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kristen Radtke, the writer and illustrator behind Seek ... Show More
42m 30s
May 2024
How To Take a Gap Year
Leo is a high-achieving high school senior on the cusp of graduation. Growing up in a rigorous school environment he faced endless pressure to follow the expected track of attending an elite university and eventually securing a good job. Yet, Leo feels slightly unfulfilled and is ... Show More
44m 28s
Recommended Episodes
Sep 2021
How to Be Empathetic When Our Kids Are Being Defiant with Guest Liz
Defiant and strong-willed children are something I’m sure we’ve all experienced. Whether it’s as toddlers or teenagers, it’s a tale as old as time in the book of parenting. Sometimes when this defiance is targeted towards you or their siblings, it can lead to further conflict so ... Show More
28m 22s
Feb 2021
How to Use Connection to Help Move Through Thumb Sucking
Kids have different ways to cope with stressful situations. Some resort to more vocal ways-- while others tend to go inward as a way to cope with what’s hard in life. It’s hard for us to know exactly how to approach them with love and kindness while still helping them move throug ... Show More
31m 32s
Jun 2021
How to Help our Kids Make Decisions Without Giving Advice with Blimie from Unconditional Parenting
There are going to be many times while raising our kids that they come to us with their problems, and we as parents might feel the need to immediately jump in as Mama Bear and tell them exactly what they need to do. But what if that isn’t what they really need? In this episode, I ... Show More
37m 44s
Jan 2023
No, You Can’t Marry Your Mom
On this episode: Elizabeth, Jamilah, and Zak answer a question about a princess-obsessed little girl who keeps asking if she can marry her mom. The mom finds it sweet but doesn’t know how to respond.  Recommendations: Jamilah: Vintage Contemporaries by Dan Kois  Zak: Keep Going F ... Show More
23m 35s
Jun 2022
Parenting Questions with Comedian Alyce Chan
Comedy is connective and can bring together communities. Alyce brings us comic relief shamelessly in her incredible IG (@momcomnyc) and onstage. And now I get to dive in with her about her parenting struggles, particularly around what to do when your child hits you? Are you promo ... Show More
34m 54s
Apr 2021
Listening to Big Feelings Creates More Safety with Guest Cara
Aggression is the product of a child who isn’t doing so well. Be it from frustration they can’t communicate well, or other factors that we as parents cannot always understand. I always recommend daily time with our kids-- but for our guest Cara, daily time has turned into frustra ... Show More
31m 21s
Jan 2022
How to Respond to Our Children When We Misstep
This week on the podcast I describe how I have tried to make repairs when I have behaved in ways that I know are not acceptable. We are all human and making mistakes is inevitable and also part of how we learn to do better. Modeling effective apologies and making amends is the be ... Show More
9m 20s
Apr 2021
Siblings Without Rivalry with Guest Dr. Laura Markham
As parents we often spend much of our time intervening in sibling upsets. There’s nothing more upsetting than seeing one of your children be unkind to the other. But what can we do to help them foster their relationship without shame and blame? How can we ensure they are learning ... Show More
28m 55s
Jun 2021
How to Handle Sibling Rivalry: A Parenting Question from April
When dealing with sibling rivalry, it’s important we validate all sibling feelings. If we choose sides it can jeopardize our connection.  In this episode, I’ve invited April, a long-time listener to the podcast who has worked hard and long on her parenting. She’ll be walking us t ... Show More
28m 20s
Jul 2023
Mom & Dad: The Funny Bits Of Parenthood
On this episode: Jamilah Lemieux and Elizabeth Newcamp are joined by comedian Hari Kondabolu. They talk about Hari’s new standup special, Vacation Baby. They also answer a listener question about vacation. The letter writer’s mother requested a trip with her and her kids. No spou ... Show More
23m 51s