logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2023
28m 30s

Putting Your Questions Into Context

PATRICK KING
About this episode

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo

00:04:28 Elicitation Practice If none of the above work, that’s where the practice of elicitation comes in.

00:08:15 Ellen Naylor in her 2016 book Win/Loss Analysis wrote about six specific elicitation techniques to get people talking.

00:08:27 Recognition Practice Human beings are social animals.

00:10:56 Complaining Technique This technique works with something else fundamental to human beings: how much we love to complain!

00:15:45 Naïveté Technique In the same vein as the above, many people can’t help speaking up when they believe that someone is not wrong exactly, but merely trying to understand, and it’s their job to clear things up for them.

00:17:57 Shift The Window This technique is a little more dramatic than the others, and may take a bit more practice, or otherwise being more familiar with the person in question.

00:21:42 Silence Practice This last technique may not seem like the others, but in many cases, it can be the most powerful of all.

00:25:05 Episode Takeaways

• Analyze the answers to these questions cautiously, and remember to place everything in context. Note how they answer, not just the content, and also not what isn’t said. Use extrapolation to draw conclusions about what their answers say about them in a more general sense.

• Questions needs to be iterative and responsive to the context and the answers you’ve already received. Also think about behavior online and in emails, or “read” a person’s possessions or home the way you would their body language. Use these observations to guide your questions.


• Elicitation leads you to the information you’re looking for, without it seeming that you are.


• Developed originally by the FBI, these techniques are really just ways to carefully work around conversational and societal norms to your advantage. They are effective because they work with human being’s natural social and behavioral tendencies.


• For example, one tendency is towards recognition, or social connection. Use compliments or accurate observations to foster a rapport with someone or strengthen your connection.


• You can also elicit information by encouraging people to complain, and in doing so, reveal something previously hidden, or else tap into the human need to correct someone’s error. Sued skillfully, most people cannot resist joining in on a complaining session or correcting an “error” you make.


• Playing dumb or using naivete or ignorance will also encourage some people to try to educate you, and share vital information, especially since you will seem so non-threatening.


• Finally, one technique is to say something quite dramatic to “shift the window” and then act as though nothing has happened; subtly, you may well elicit a revealing response. Silence can also be used effectively, since it encourages people to fill the gap with the information you want to know.


#AccurateAssessments #AccurateObservations #AwkwardTension #BehavioralTendencies #Beliefs #BenignSituations #ComplainingTechnique #ElicitationPractice #EllenNaylor #IndirectQuestions #NaïvetéTechnique #SilencePractice #PuttingYourQuestionsIntoContext #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth


/home/russell/temp/questions/questions-brown-and-black-wooden-blocks-10412820-Sara.jpg

Up next
Jun 26
Beyond Destinations: Zach Smith's Story - Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler
Intentions and Transformative Travel with Anywhere.com Founder, Zach SmithIn this episode of 'The Science of Self,' host Russell interviews Zach Smith, the founder and CEO of Anywhere.com. Zach shares his story of how a post-college trip to Oaxaca inspired the creation of his com ... Show More
15m 58s
Jul 2
Mastering the Art of Listening: Chapter Two 'Improve Your People Skills'
00:03:21 We Have Two Ears and Only One Mouth00:08:56 Ineffective listening00:15:59 TakeawayImprove Your People Skills: How to Connect With Anyone, Communicate Effectively, Develop Deep Relationships, and Become a People Person By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3nQxB0N ... Show More
16m 50s
Jun 24
Highlights from The Literary Pugilist: Mark Connor's Journey - Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler
Mark Connor on Boxing, Writing, and Reconnecting with Faith | The Science of SelfSee the full interview at https://youtu.be/EhcVLPlyiGkIn this episode of The Science of Self, we sit down with Mark Connor, a literary pugilist from St. Paul, Minnesota. Mark discusses his unique car ... Show More
13m 16s
Recommended Episodes
Mar 2021
234: How To Deal with Whiners and Complainers
Announcements / Upcoming Workshops March 24, 2021 Feeling Great: A New, High-Speed Treatment for Depression and Anxiety. A One-Day Workshop by David Burns, MD. sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates, Vancouver Click here for more information including registration! April 7, 2021 B ... Show More
39m 55s
Jun 2021
248: David and Rhonda Answer Your Questions about Exercise, Empathy, Euphoria, Exposure, Psychodynamic Therapy, and more!
Podcast 248 Ask David and Rhonda! In today’s podcast, Rhonda and David answer some fascinating questions submitted by listeners like you! We both thank you for your interest in our show, and for your kind comments and terrific questions! The Questions Kati asks: I notice that in ... Show More
57m 16s
Dec 2020
221: Ask David: What's Your Definition of a Violent Person? Five Cool Questions from Listeners Like You!
Podcast 221 Ask David December 21, 2020 Today’s Ask David features five challenging questions submitted by listeners like you! Sumaya asks: I recently bought Feeling Great and can’t find the chapters on Habits and Addictions in the book. Could you please clarify? Jay asks: Can yo ... Show More
1h 1m
Aug 2023
Ep. 79 - Cultivating Assertive Communication
In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the art of assertive communication, and how we all can cultivate the skills needed to communicate in this way. Plus, they share their own personal experiences being afraid to be assertive for fears of not being liked, and more! Fo ... Show More
1h 2m
Aug 2022
Bitesize: How to calm your critical inner-voice
Are you someone who is better at giving other people advice when they are faced with a problem than you are at helping yourself? If so - don't worry - it’s a really common phenomenon.Everyone has an inner voice. Sometimes the conversations people have with themselves can tip over ... Show More
13m 9s
Jun 2024
2202: How to Relate to Others by Tynan on Improving Relationships & Better Communication Skills
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com.Episode 2202:Tynan shares his journey from being naturally unempathetic to developing a deeper understanding of others. Through pers ... Show More
9m 6s
Sep 2023
BONUS: Navigating Guilt and Self-Sabotage with a BetterHelp Therapist
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Take your mental and emotional well-being to the next level with BetterHelp. Our listeners can now get 10% off their first month by using the link provided, HERE #ad In this enlightening bonus episode, Sinead sits down with Melissa Hummelt ... Show More
24m 24s
Jun 2024
How To Deal With Difficult People
Today, we're tackling a big one: how to deal with difficult people in your life and relationships.In this episode, we'll cover:1. Understanding Difficult People: Learn why people act the way they do, often because of unhealed trauma and learned behaviors, and how developing empat ... Show More
18m 50s
May 2024
Anxiety Grounding Techniques Revisited | Episode 292
Send in a question or comment via text.You’re in the middle of a huge wave of intense anxiety and fear, or maybe you’re experiencing a full blown panic attack.  Someone with all the best intentions and trying to be helpful instructs you to identify five things you can see, four t ... Show More
14m 43s
May 2024
#601: Social Anxiety: How to Stop Overthinking Social Situations
Maybe you find yourself overthinking social interactions or large group gatherings because you just aren't sure how to engage, how to start a conversation naturally, how to get out of one naturally or if anyone truly wants to talk to you, or you're the person waiting for the invi ... Show More
29m 45s