New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

If you're part of a family, you've probably experienced some level of drama. Maybe it's minor annoyances, like an uncle who chews too loudly. Maybe it's divorce, sibling rivalry, or abuse. There are lots of flavors in this noxious cornucopia.

Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed clinical social worker and the author of the new book Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships. She's here to talk about how to handle family drama of all types.

This is episode two of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair.

Content Warning: There are some brief mentions of rape and incest in this conversation. We also talk about substance abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic abuse.

In this episode we talk about:

Nedra's own experiences with family dysfunction
The terms boundary issues, enmeshment, and codependency
The uncomfortable realization that you might be (at least part of) the problem
The limits of compassion
What to remember if you choose to spend time with a family member with whom you have a difficult relationship
Why you should not "un-become" yourself just to fit in with your family
Why shaming people doesn't make them better–and what does
The temptation of receding into a victim mentality, and how to avoid it
When to end a relationship
What the term "toxic forgiveness" means
Some of the myths about forgiveness
And her remedies for various family drama scenarios, including: How do you get your mom to see a therapist?

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/nedra-glover-tawwab-559