logo
episode-header-image
Jan 2023
27m 48s

322 SelfWork: Understanding The Self-Abs...

MARGARET ROBINSON RUTHERFORD PHD
About this episode

Today we’re focusing on self-absorption – being highly preoccupied with your own concerns, your inner thoughts, or yourself in general. Depression can be viewed as an "implosion of the self" which creates self-absorption. I’m speaking of self-absorption not in a condescending or judgmental way, but as a way of helping the person who’s depressed, as well as the people who are trying to love them, to understand how two possible components of depression – anhedonia and apathy - can be perceived in relationships as self-centeredness or self-absorption. And, as always, what to do about it.

The listener voicemail this week is from a woman whose mother is always "one-upping" her, meaning her mom says she hurts more, or has accomplished more... the topic doesn't really matter. Her mother doesn't offer affirmation for her daughter, but remains in a weird kind of competition with her. And her daughter is very, very lonely.

Vital Links for Today! 

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens - now AG1 - with bonus product with your subscription!

Click this link to try out some of the best CBD out there! Ozark Mountain Medicine's CBD products and get 10% off! 

Article in Psychology Today by Dr. Leon Seltzer on self-absorption

The difference between anhedonia and apathy in depression

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Up next
Aug 22
460 SelfWork: Marci Hopkins on How To Find Hope and Stop Drinking
If you've ever wondered if you had it in you to stop drinking or change any destructive habit you have, Marci Hopkins wants to tell you that you can. She's the author of Chaos to Clarity, Seeing the Signs and Breaking the Cycles, and an award-winning TV Personality, host, show cr ... Show More
37m 13s
Aug 15
459 SelfWork: Kyle Kittleson On Being Gay, Managing Depression, and Learning Empathy
Meeting Kyle Kittleson was an incredibly refreshing experience.Why? Because he lives and breathes his passion for bettering the world. Whether it's through his work with animals (he's an animal trainer), his dedication to children's learning about animals on his very popular YouT ... Show More
45m 29s
Aug 8
458 SelfWork: When Anxiety Imprisons You
Today we're focusing on the anxiety of being rejected, scorned, or judged. And how it’s a prison that keeps you from feeling safe to talk about yourself in real terms. It’s not a diagnosable anxiety disorder – unless you have panic attacks along with that fear. But to me, it’s as ... Show More
21m 53s
Recommended Episodes
Sep 2023
199 | Ready to Be More YOU?! How My Definition of BEING ME Has Shifted & 3 Journaling Prompts to Help You Start Being The Most Authentic, Confident, Self Love -ing You (especially for those on people
Hey love, today's episode is loaded with journaling prompts to help you start being more you.  I'll share with you what BEING ME has been meaning to me lately and that it's not as cut & dry as it used to feel. You'll hear about: not being overly attached to your i ... Show More
17m 24s
Dec 2021
Is This Why You’re Depressed? Stop Should-ing on Yourself
Here's one way you make your depression worse: should-ing on yourself. A should statement is a cognitive distortion. It’s based on an overly rigid rule inside your head that you aren’t able to live up to. Shoulds generate a lot of shame. This way of talking to ourselves is like h ... Show More
10 m
Mar 2022
EP 201 - Depression And How I Deal With It
Send in a question or comment via text.Depression is a hot topic in our community.  I get asked about my personal experience with depression all the time.  It had taken me a while to get around to this but on this week's episode of The Anxious Truth I will share my experienc ... Show More
20 m
Jul 2023
Motivation During Depression: How To Get Things Done | Ep. 345
Welcome back, everybody.  Alright, alright, alright. You may already notice the sound of my voice has shifted, the tone has shifted, and that is on purpose. Actually, I’ve never thought of this, but it’s true. I often show up when I’m ready to do a podcast. I sit in front of my m ... Show More
26m 28s
Jul 2023
184 // 2 Journal Prompts to Break Free From Being the "Nice Girl" & to Start Speaking Up, Setting Healthy Boundaries & Expressing Yourself as Your Most Authentic, Self Love & Confidence Filled Self
RESOURCES MENTIONED //  Good Boundaries & GoodByes Book Boundaries Book   COACHING //  DM me over on IG to learn more about the different private mentoring packages I have! I currently have 2 x individual mentoring spaces open!     MONDAY MORNING JOURNALING PROMPTS // Sign up to ... Show More
19m 37s
Aug 2021
#79: Dealing with Overwhelm via Self-Talk
If you Google this topic, you'll find plenty of articles telling you how to check more things off your to-do list or organizing your planner for more productivity, and all types of advice which sure, could be helpful. BUT, they don't address the mindset behind overwhelm and the f ... Show More
31m 44s
Apr 2019
My Journey Through Depression & the Money Lessons I Learned
Did you know that 300 million people around the world have depression and anxiety, according to the World Health Organization, and It’s estimated that 15 percent of the adult population will experience depression at some point in their lifetime? I’m one of them, and this is my jo ... Show More
28m 58s
Oct 2023
200 | From Worrying if They're Upset With You to Deep Trust in Your Relationships: 1 Communication Tool For Deeper Connection & Authenticity That Will Also Grow Your Self Love & Self Esteem Too (esp
Hey love, in today’s episode we’re going deep.  This is an episode especially for those of you who worry about other people secretly being upset with you.  This episode will shed some light and give you practical tools to help you break out of that cycle and into deeper openness ... Show More
18m 49s