Boys and puberty – Boys struggle with many of the same things that girls do in puberty. Unfortunately, there is generally very little attention paid to their development process when it comes to emotions, shame, insecurity, mood, and bullying. It is important to acknowledge that development happens for both genders and as parents we need to be aware and meet the needs of sons and daughters through this transition.
Girls and puberty – Girls struggle with intense changes in their emotions, an increase in shame, often related to body changes, insecurity, and confusion or angst over starting their period.
Pay attention to your daughter/s shifts in mood, attitude, and response beginning around age 9-11. There is a lot going on in her body and shifts in mood and emotion can gives us clues about where they are in the puberty process. Women in the home are known to sync cycles which means that you may see patterns of her mood changing around the time of mom's cycle. Begin having open discussions about the changes her body is making and how that can affect mood, emotionality, and irritability.
Listen to the full podcast episode to learn a great strategy for preparing your daughter to start menstruation, especially if she is not at home when it happens.
It is critical not to speak death over the relationship you have with your daughter/s during the teenage years. Rather than jumping on the bandwagon that says you are doomed to a horrible relationship for the next few years, focus your attention on helping her recognize mood shifts, sensitively bring attention to hypersensitivity, avoid shaming at all costs, track her menstruation so you know what’s coming and help her prepare for hormonal spikes that may occur just before or during her cycle. Furthermore, understand the importance of modeling a healthy response to PMS-related issues as a mother.
Our culture has really promoted the idea that procreation is a female thing, while it is true that women bear the burden of pregnancy and childbirth, thanks Eve, the idea that babies are exclusively a woman’s choice and responsibility has relieved men of taking responsibility and minimized the significance of their role in creating and raising children.
A father’s responsibility should not be viewed as primarily financial, we should be encouraging men to see themselves as essential to the spiritual, emotional, physical, and psychological well-being of their children, because they are! If the absence of a father can do the kind of harm we are seeing it stands to reason that God’s design for parenting required mutual participation (you cant have a baby without a man and woman coming together), He intended for there to be equal investment and responsibility between a mother and a father.
Developing a sense of accountability, reverence, and investment in the process of child-rearing for boys depends on a caregiver’s willingness to teach and model it. The opportunity to build in that perspective ramps up in the pubescent years. Be sure to join me next week for part two of this changing bodies episode where we will be talking about a common puberty issue for boys and how to incorporate fathers and sons into the equation of menstruation for the women in the home. It may sound like a strange concept but I’m hopeful that you will stick with me and see what a difference it can make to teach and model compassion, respect, and understanding for the female experience. Please consider rating and leaving a written review on your favorite listening platform, it will help others who need it to find this podcast!
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