Having "the talk" is an opportunity to build relationship and intimacy with your kids.
You must first understand your own level of comfort talking about sex. Take some time to reflect on your own relationship with and feelings about sex, how you plan to speak to your child, what your standards surrounding sex are, and your confidence level. There is no shame in practicing, making notes, or processing these feelings with a therapist, pastor, friend, or co-parent.
"The talk" should not be up to just one parent, sex is between a man and his wife and the talk should be between a child and both parents where possible. Even if one parent is more confident and comfortable both parents need to be equally invested in the conversation.
Moms have a female perspective and dads have a male perspective and both genders of children need to know both.
Being on the same page with your co-parent before going in is critical. Not knowing where the other parent stands could lead to an argument right in front of your child which is upsetting and confusing. This is already a challenging topic, parents need to be well-prepared and in sync, this applies to divorced parents and blended family situations too.
The reality is not, do as I say not as I do.
Our Kids do what they see, they are sponges that absorb the world around them, including the way that we approach intimacy, sex, arguments, and reconciliation in marriage.
Kids need to see affection they need to know that their parents have sex – it's about modeling healthy sexual behavior.
Give them those “ewe moments” – gross them out (in an appropriate way) Let them see that old married people can still be into each other.
Kids with affectionate parents tend to feel more secure and confident in their home situations.
They are more likely to have positive feelings about marriage.
They are more likely to express emotion and feel comfortable with intimacy in adulthood.
Next week we will discuss talking to your teens about sex and dating!
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