Sex as reward and punishment – bleeds into parent-child/control mechanism and loses value and satisfaction, becomes transactional – decreases vulnerability, desire, and frequency
Unrealistic Expectations –We are bombarded with images and situations that appear so satisfying which leads to unrealistic expectations in our own very real, non-produced relationships.
Casual sex requires no vulnerability it's simply carnality in action.
There are consequences of emotionally void sex and emotionally void sex can happen even in marriage – Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety
Imprinting plays a significant role in how we perceive, respond to, talk about, and pursue sex.
Ideas about sex start in childhood and aren't easily reframed.
Our animal instincts are present in attraction and the more animalistic and pornographic our imprint is the more difficult it will be to remain satisfied with one partner with changing physical features over time.
Everyone has a sexual baseline – working together to manage baselines that are not aligned is critical to developing a mutually satisfying sexual relationship.
No matter how passionate your dating life may have been once the hormones wear off you will settle back into your baseline
Comparison is the thief of joy – No two marriages or seasons should be compared to each other
Stress, hormones, relationship trauma, medication impact libido – consider all factors
I will be discussing talking to your kids about sex and how to have conversations about sex with your spouse and your children in greater detail in the Difficult Conversations episode of this series in a few weeks!
References and Resources
https://attheu.utah.edu/facultystaff/premarital-sex-and-divorce/
https://www.intimina.com/blog/sex-on-the-brain/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201602/why-so-many-women-don-t-have-orgasms
If you are suffering sexually, please get help, there is no shame in seeking a healthy connection in your marriage!
Thank you for listening!
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