My guest this episode is Sasha Bates: psychotherapist, journalist and former BBC and Channel Four producer. Sasha’s husband, the actor and playwright Bill Cashmore, died unexpectedly at the age of 56.
When Bill died, Sasha turned to writing and the resulting book, called Languages of Loss, is a moving, powerful and informative narrative account of how grief works, how it feels and how it can be managed; a searingly honest account of losing a loved one, and a practical guide to help anyone who is grieving.
In this beautiful conversation, Sasha talked to me about the death of her husband Bill and how her best selling book The Languages of Loss, is a conversation between her therapist self and her grieving self in an attempt to express and make sense of the inexpressible and incomprehensible.
We talked about the five stages of grief and how they are not necessarily helpful, why we are so bad at talking about death as a society and how we can best support someone who has lost a loved one. We also talked about guilt- how feeling happy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten a loved one, yet it is an inevitable part of the grief process.
Sasha is warm and wise and open about her experiences and has so much practical advice about how to attempt to navigate grief, and why it will never be the same experience for two people.
Our conversation is a powerful insight into what it is to lose someone you love, and is also filled with hope and healing. Sasha says: “Fear is at the root of our inability to talk about death, we are absolutely terrified of speaking about it.”
I really hope that my having more conversations like this, we can bring grief out of the darkness and into the light, where it can heal.
I hope you enjoy this episode.
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Find Sasha here:
https://www.instagram.com/sashbates/
https://sashabates.co.uk
Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed:
Sasha Bates - Languages of Loss
https://magrudy.com/book/languages-of-loss-a-psychotherapists-journey-through-grief-9781529312690/
Sasha Bates - A Grief Companion
https://www.amazon.com/Grief-Companion-Practical-darkness-Languages-ebook/dp/B0967R92G4
Nelson Mandela - The Long Walk to Freedom
https://magrudy.com/book/a-long-walk-to-freedom-the-autobiography-of-nelson-mandela-9780349106533/
Ndaba Mandela - Going to the Mountain - 11 Life Lessons from Nelson Mandela
https://www.amazon.ae/Going-Mountain-Lessons-Grandfather-Mandela/dp/1786090570/
The Dalai Lama - Cultivating Happiness
https://magrudy.com/book/cultiving-happiness-9781607967170/