I love this topic so much. Addiction to your illness is definitely a "thing". Being addicted to your illness (mental health in this case) is something we're all probably doing. Hey-we're trying our best... cut us some slack! You've heard the story.... you grew up with anxiety or developed it along the way from an intense experience and learned to cope with it by finding a different way to function and it has worked for you but now it's created more dysfunction because you have gained something from the dysfunction. (INSERT DEEP BREATH AFTER THAT LONG RUN ON SENTENCE). Yikes. Deep Breath in... expand the belly and deep breath out. Take a listen as I explain more about this and how to start identifying if this is going on for you. Is this what's keeping you from having healthier relationships? Is this what's causing the same argument in your relationships? Is this keeping you from moving forward? Those secondary gains are NIIIIIIIICEEEEEE. You know why they're nice? Because they're easy. We've used them to get around the actual problem and the actual healthy solution. Awww, man! Does this mean I can't project my anxiety onto my loved ones so they can handle what's causing my anxiety?! Yeah, 'fraid so. But I promise it'll feel even better to work through and develop better behaviors to cope.