Sherry and Carla open up the show talking about aging gracefully and the culture of dating in Los Angeles, mixed with the pressure of finding that special someone. They then take a Love Fix question about red flags in a relationship and welcome one of today’s most trusted relationship teachers, Elizabeth Earnshaw. Elizabeth talks about her standing as a renowned Gottman Therapist, a Licensed MFT, and influential IG therapist who has helped transform countless relationships. Elizabeth is also the head therapist at Actually, and author of
I Want This To Work. In this super fun episode, Elizabeth gives her advice on when it’s time to leave a relationship, tips for recognizing codependency, and where to begin when navigating modern-day dating issues.
What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
- What does it mean to be a Gottman-certified therapist?
- The Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Let’s break down each one and know how they play out in toxic relationships.
- Find out more about working with Elizabeth, along with how to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency, dating, break-ups, healing from toxic relationships, and gaining confidence.
- What is Elizabeth’s advice for someone in a new relationship trying to tell if what they are witnessing is a red flag or just a data point.
- What are the most important things to be on the lookout for when starting a new relationship?
- When is it time to let go of a relationship?
- Elizabeth breaks down some of the obsession that codependents have with making others happy and tips for originating your own opinions and desires.
Tweetables:
- “Consistency is huge. When you’re in a relationship and starting out with someone who disappears on you for a few days, that’s already not a good sign.” - Elizabeth
- “If in the very beginning, they're not acting like they think that you are very bright or that they think that you have interesting things to say, that's kind of a warning sign.” - Elizabeth
- “I think what it comes down to is are you able to communicate, and are you able to repair? Do you have a baseline of respect and responsiveness and reliability in this relationship?” - Elizabeth
- “Having resentments in a relationship is a big red flag.” - Carla
- “I don't have to be right and I can still hold on to my opinion, which is really important. And he can too.” - Elizabeth
- “With narcissistic versus codependent behavior, it's this inability to hold both people at once.” - Elizabeth
Connect with Us!
Sherry
Sign up for one of Sherry’s coaching or psychotherapy packages here:
https://sherrygaba.com/addiction-recovery/sessions-psychotherapy/rates-insurance/
Gain access to Sherry’s FREE ebooks for codependency, love addiction, or narcissistic abuse. https://relationship-quizzes.com/
Carla
Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp
Elizabeth Earnshaw
Website | Instagram | Love Lessons
Today’s episode is sponsored by Carla’s book Contagious Love: Break Free from Codependency for Damn Good and Sherry’s book Love Smacked: How To Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency To Find Everlasting Love.
Thanks to Contagious Love and Love Smacked for sponsoring this episode.
The Gottman Institute
The Four Horsemen