In this deeply honest episode, Dr. Amelia Kelley is joined by certified grief support specialist and Grieve Leave founder Rebecca Feinglos for a conversation about the grief of leaving a relationship you still love. Rebecca shares how losing her father forced her to reevaluate her marriage, the warning signs she once normalized, and the moment she realized how peaceful life could feel outside of an unhealthy relationship. Together, Rebecca and Dr. Amelia explore the cycle of abuse, silent treatment and love bombing, the grief of the future you thought you would have, and why missing someone does not necessarily mean leaving was the wrong decision. Rebecca also shares practical ways she rebuilt her life after divorce, from leaning on friends instead of reaching back toward her ex to learning how to be alone, creating new friendships, and finding community through grief.

Key Takeaways

Healthy conflict is less about how often couples disagree and more about how they communicate, repair, and treat one another during conflict.
Silent treatment, love bombing, and repeated cycles of disconnection and intense affection can make unhealthy relationships especially difficult to leave.

Leaving a relationship can mean grieving both the person and the future you imagined with them, including milestones that may never happen the way you expected.

Rebuilding after divorce happens one day at a time through new routines, supportive relationships, and learning what life feels like outside the relationship.

Community can be an important part of healing. Rebecca suggests attending gatherings hosted by people you already know, seeking events around your interests, and actually following up when you meet someone you connect with.

You can still love someone and choose not to return to the relationship. Grieving involves allowing your brain to gradually learn a new reality without that person.

About Rebecca Feinglos

Rebecca Feinglos, MPP, is a certified grief support specialist, founder of Grieve Leave, and host of the Grief’d Up podcast. After losing her mother as a teenager, her father suddenly in 2020, and navigating the end of her marriage, Rebecca took a year-long “grief sabbatical” that ultimately grew into Grieve Leave. Today, the organization helps individuals, workplaces, and communities better understand and support grief through education, storytelling, resources, workplace training, and community experiences like Sad Hours. Rebecca’s work has been featured in publications including TIME, the Los Angeles Times, Fortune, and Slate.

Connect with Rebecca

Website: Grieve Leave

Instagram: @grieveleave

Rebecca’s Instagram: @rfeinglos

Podcast: Grief’d Up

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/