Building Resilient Teens: 4 Lessons From an Oak Tree

Some trees fall over in a light breeze. Others stand through tornadoes. The difference is underground, and it's the same thing that separates teens who get knocked over by peer pressure and setbacks from the ones who stand strong.

When we lived in Phoenix, the smallest gust of wind would knock trees flat. Their roots stayed near the surface chasing water and never went deep enough to hold. In Oklahoma, where I grew up, the oaks stand through straight-line winds and tornadoes.

On a walk this week I started thinking about oak trees, and how much they can teach teenagers (and the rest of us) about resilience and growth. Here are the four lessons:

Dig your roots deep. Decide your values and standards before the wind comes. When your foundation is set, peer pressure, temptation, and other people's opinions can't uproot you.
Bend, don't break. The roots hold the tree steady while the branches move with the wind. Never adapt your values, but be willing to adapt your approach. There's rarely one right way. Ask yourself: what's the next best thing I can do?
Lose your leaves. This year I cut too many branches off the tree in our backyard and shocked it. It started dropping leaves everywhere to protect its base. Growth asks you to let go too: of some friendships, habits, or environments. You have to let go so you can grow.
Ask for support. When we plant a new tree, we stake it with rebar and rope so it grows straight while its roots take hold. Asking for help gets harder when you're a teenager building your own identity, and it doesn't get easier as an adult. But you aren't meant to do this alone. Your circle doesn't just raise your ceiling. It raises your floor. And sometimes you need to find a new circle.

Whether you're a teenager, a student leader, a parent, or an entrepreneur, nature has a lot to teach us about growing strong enough for the real storms.

Which of the four do you need most right now? Tell me on Instagram. I'd love to support you.

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Building Resilient Teens: 4 Lessons From an Oak Tree

On a walk this week I started thinking about oak trees, and how much they can teach teenagers (and the rest of us) about resilience and growth. Here are the four lessons:

Dig your roots deep. Decide your values and standards before the wind comes. When your foundation is set, peer pressure, temptation, and other people's opinions can't uproot you.
Bend, don't break. The roots hold the tree steady while the branches move with the wind. Never adapt your values, but be willing to adapt your approach. There's rarely one right way. Ask yourself: what's the next best thing I can do?
Lose your leaves. This year I cut too many branches off the tree in our backyard and shocked it. It started dropping leaves everywhere to protect its base. Growth asks you to let go too: of some friendships, habits, or environments. You have to let go so you can grow.
Ask for support. When we plant a new tree, we stake it with rebar and rope so it grows straight while its roots take hold. Asking for help gets harder when you're a teenager building your own identity, and it doesn't get easier as an adult. But you aren't meant to do this alone. Your circle doesn't just raise your ceiling. It raises your floor. And sometimes you need to find a new circle.

Whether you're a teenager, a student leader, a parent, or an entrepreneur, nature has a lot to teach us about growing strong enough for the real storms.

Which of the four do you need most right now? Tell me on Instagram. I'd love to support you.

Building Resilient Teens: 4 Lessons From...