This has been the hardest year of my life mentally. For the first time, I doubted myself. In this episode: the 5 things I'm leaning on to keep going when I want to quit, including why rest isn't the same as giving up.
The Hardest Year of My Life
I'll be honest — this has been the hardest year of my life. Mentally, professionally, personally. About two years ago I quit my job to speak full time, and it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. But this year, for the first time, I've doubted myself. I've felt like I'm not good enough. Like I'm failing my wife, failing my family, failing myself.
Here's what I've learned: sometimes life is hard because you're trying to become someone you've never been before. You can't win the war you're facing by running from your battles — the only way through is through. So here are the five things that have kept me going this year, on the days I wanted to quit.
1. Follow the plan, not your mood. Your mood will tell you to quit, to pause, to take the day off. Don't listen. Set the plan the night before, then follow it regardless of how you feel. Bamboo seeds spend up to five years growing roots underground before they ever break the surface — then they shoot up 80 feet in weeks. What you're doing right now, even when you can't see it, is building the foundation for what's coming.
2. Rest, don't quit. There are days that will knock you down. Tell yourself quitting will never be an option — but you're allowed to pause. Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the night that says, "I will try again tomorrow."
3. When you're struggling most, serve someone else. When life gets hard, we turn inward and get consumed by our own pain. Turn it outward instead. I have a note on my whiteboard: "Help others and the rest will work out." Find one person to help today — it will get you back on your feet faster than anything else.
4. Look back at how far you've come. You may not be where you want to be, but that doesn't mean you're not where you're supposed to be. Every daily deposit got you here. Recognize it. You are the strongest person you know, and you have everything it takes to keep going.
5. Do less. This one sounds backwards, but overwhelm comes from thinking everything is on you. Start a to-don't list instead of a to-do list — pick the one or two things that actually move your life forward, and put everything else on the list of things you're allowed to stop doing.
If you're in a battle right now — emotional, mental, physical — you are strong enough to go through it. You just have to choose, today, to keep going.
Send me a message on Instagram @realtannerclark and tell me you're in it — that you won't quit. I'll tell you the same thing back: I won't quit either. Let's keep fighting the battle together.
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Go find your one second of strength — and be happy.