logo
episode-header-image
Today
6m 48s

#242: When Does Self-Improvement Become ...

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question about the fine line between personal growth and the endless pursuit of self-improvement.

While healing, reflection, and growth are powerful tools, they can sometimes become another way we reinforce the belief that something about us is fundamentally wrong or needs fixing. When that happens, self-development can quietly turn into a hamster wheel driven by shame, perfectionism, or a sense of inadequacy.

In this episode, I explore how to recognise when the pursuit of growth is useful and worthwhile —and when it might actually be keeping you stuck.

I also share some reflections on why the deeper goal of healing work isn’t to endlessly optimise ourselves, but to become more grounded, peaceful, and at home within who we already are.


Links

stephanierigg.com

instagram.com/stephanie__rigg

Up next
Mar 17
#241: How to Date from Self-Worth
Modern dating can be tough. Between apps, ghosting, and the uncertainty that often comes with meeting strangers outside our social circles, the whole process can be seriously activating — and all the more so for those with anxious attachment patterns.In this episode, I share thre ... Show More
17m 33s
Mar 12
#240: The #1 Thing to Focus On to Heal Anxious Attachment (Ask Steph)
In today’s Ask Steph episode, I’m answering the listener question: If you were only going to focus on one thing to start healing anxious attachment, what would it be?While there are many layers to this work, the single place I’d start is building self-worth outside of a relations ... Show More
6m 57s
Mar 10
#239: The Anxious Attachment Healing Roadmap
If you've been putting in the work to heal your anxious attachment but still feel like you're treading water, this episode is for you. In today's episode, I'm sharing what I believe are the three core pillars of healing anxious attachment — and why the sequencing of that work mat ... Show More
25m 1s
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2025
Why Avoidant Men Struggle to Love (and How to Fix It)
<p>Why do avoidant men struggle so much with love, vulnerability, and connection? </p> <p>In this video, we break down how avoidant attachment forms, why it creates barriers in relationships, and what can actually be done to move forward.</p> <p>Topics Covered:  👉 What is attach ... Show More
50m 58s
Jun 2025
Deep Dive: The Anxious Attachment
<p>In today’s episode we are diving deep into the ambivalent attachment style, where it comes from, how it shows up in your relationships and how you can start rewiring it.</p><p>If you often feel like you’re too much and not enough or constantly waiting for the other shoe to dro ... Show More
48m 21s
Aug 2025
237 - The Secret to Stronger Relationships: Embracing Emotional Differences
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOr email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety ... Show More
43m 42s
Jun 2025
405: How to Be Loving to Ourselves which Allows Us to Heal
"Love has the shape and feel of water. It is simultaneously flexible and powerful. It can adapt and roar; it can also be silently nourishing." –Yung Pueblo, How to Love Better We know we need to heal when we slip into being defensive, reactive or regress into any self-protecting ... Show More
44m 25s
Dec 2020
#39: Attachment Styles with Maya Diamond
Today I interviewed Maya Diamond who is an expert on attachment styles and how our attachment style affects who we attract, how we behave in relationships, and how our attachment style can affect our feelings about our break up. Attachment styles were key for me in being able to ... Show More
51m 51s
Feb 2025
Needs, wants, and desires: The missing piece in relationship communication
<p><strong>Have you ever felt like your partner just doesn’t get what you need? </strong>Maybe you’ve asked for something (more than once!) and felt crushed when they didn’t follow through. It’s frustrating, right? In this episode, we’re diving into the tricky—but super important ... Show More
37m 40s
Jan 2025
How to Rebuild Emotional Connection with Your Husband in 2025
<p>Are you looking for the secret sauce to keep your relationship thriving with your spouse?</p> <p>Countless women have rebuilt love and connection in their marriages with this “How to Strengthen Your Marriage” eBook.</p> <p>Download it for FREE here: <a href="https://bit.ly/mar ... Show More
19m 48s