Jay is joined on stage at Boston’s Wang Theatre by his longtime friend Mel Robbins, in front of a packed live audience. Their shared history allows them to speak openly and honestly about the pressure to be liked, the fear of being misunderstood, and how easily we lose ourselves trying to meet other people’s expectations. Mel’s superpower is her ability to choose herself in moments when giving up or staying small feels safer.
Mel shares the hard truths she’s learned about self-criticism, people-pleasing, and why waiting to feel “ready” keeps us stuck. Jay reflects on how constantly judging and fixing ourselves pulls us away from our inner life, and why real growth starts with awareness and self-respect. Mel also talks about how many of her biggest changes came from desperation, not confidence, and Jay reframes jealousy, fear, and failure as signs that something meaningful is trying to emerge.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Run Your Life
How to Quiet Your Inner Critic When Stress Takes Over
How to Unlearn the Self-Criticism You Were Taught Growing Up
How to Stop Waiting to Feel “Ready” to Start Living Your Life
How to Break the Habit of People-Pleasing Without Guilt
How to Use Jealousy as a Clue Instead of a Curse
How to Keep Going When Desperation, Not Confidence, Is Driving You
Life doesn’t change all at once. It changes when you choose to speak to yourself with kindness, honor your needs, and take the next step even when you’re afraid.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:17 What Do We Really Worry About Most?
02:12 How to Quiet the Inner Critic
15:50 Stop Obsessing Over the Physical
18:17 How People-Pleasing Is Actually a Form of Control
25:02 Start Listening to Your Own Needs
29:54 Finding the Strength to Let Go and Move Forward
41:15 Is it a Vibe or Not a Vibe?
46:18 Creating Safety by Letting Go of Judgment
50:04 The Power of Outlasting Yourself
58:50 Making Space for Hurt While Choosing Compassion
01:05:14 Turning What You Love Into a Business
Episode Resources:
Website | https://www.melrobbins.com/
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/
YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/c/melrobbins
TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbins
The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.