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Nov 11
20m 37s

the death of boyfriend culture

Elle Ray
About this episode

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Full show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.com

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In this episode, Elle explores the viral British Vogue question "Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?" and traces how we went from peak boyfriend culture—when relationships were social currency and partners were posted constantly—to today's "boyfriend denial" era. She examines the shift from hard-launching relationships on Facebook in 2011 to soft-launching in 2021, and now to hiding partners entirely. Elle discusses three key reasons why women have become "bearish on boyfriends": fear of appearing male-centered, belief in the "evil eye," and viewing relationships as potential "humiliation rituals" in an era of heteropessimism. However, she argues that while boyfriend culture may be declining, we're now seeing a surge in "husband culture," with women increasingly bullish on marriage and commitment. Ultimately, Elle reminds us that decentering men doesn't mean denying ourselves love—it means refusing to let romantic partnerships become the only story worth telling about who we are.Substack articles mentioned:""my bf said he'll get me [something expensive] if this post gets [an insane amount of] views" by Elle Ray - https://manifestelle.substack.com/p/my-bf-said-hell-get-me-something"Pop Enters Its Wife Era" by Catherine Shannon - https://catherineshannon.substack.com/p/pop-enters-its-wife-eraKeywords:boyfriend culture, end of boyfriend culture, is having a boyfriend embarrassing, British Vogue boyfriend article, hiding boyfriends online, soft launching relationships, relationship social media trends, decentering men, male-centered relationships, boyfriend denial culture, heteropessimism, relationship humiliation rituals, evil eye relationships, posting boyfriends on social media, girlfriend culture 2025, wife era trend, husband culture, relationship goals social media, boyfriend fashion trend, boyfriend jeans cultural meaning, social capital relationships, patriarchal bargains relationships, women's worth and relationships, Instagram boyfriend posts, fear of being male-centered, relationship content creators, protecting relationships from evil eye, Lana Del Rey husband of mine, Raye where is my husband, pop music wife era, situationship culture

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