logo
episode-header-image
Aug 1
53m 34s

You're not CRAZY... You're TRAUMA BONDED...

JB Copeland
About this episode

You’re not crazy. You’re trauma bonded.

In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB Copeland breaks down the psychological trap that keeps people stuck in toxic love loops... even when they know it’s not healthy.

This episode is for anyone who:

– Keeps missing someone who hurt them

– Feels addicted to emotional chaos

– Can’t stop blaming themselves after being left

– Is waiting for closure that may never comeIt’s not love. It’s your nervous system trying to survive.

And until you see the pattern, you’ll keep calling it “fate.”👁️‍🗨️

Topics & Undercurrents We Explore:

🔁 Trauma Bonding– Emotional addiction to inconsistency.

-Intermittent reinforcement & dopamine withdrawal

– “Highs and lows” mistaken for chemistry

“We are not addicted to the person. We’re addicted to the emotional rollercoaster they create.”

— Shahida Arabi, MA

⚠️ Survival Mode Disguised as Personality

– Apathy, disinterest, and detachment aren’t your identity

– They’re coping tools that once kept you safe

“Hyper-independence is the belief that asking for help makes you weak. But it’s often the wound talking.”

— Dr. Nicole LePera

🧠 Emotional Numbness & Burnout

– You can’t feel joy, but you also can’t feel pain

– You're emotionally exhausted

— not just from life, but from carrying relationships

🔁 Pattern Repetition & Cognitive Dissonance

– Why you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners

– The war between what you feel and what you know💭 Self-Gaslighting & Shame Loops

– Downplaying your needs to keep the peace

– “Maybe I am too much…” becomes a silent script

“Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself.”

— Anaïs Nin

💔 Identity Crisis After a Breakup

– You’re not just grieving them... you’re grieving who you were with them

– What happens when the version of you that loved deeply is left behind?

🚩 The Fixer Complex & Emotional Breadcrumbing

– Attracting broken people to avoid facing your own wounds

– Staying for “just enough” — not because it's good, but because it’s familiar

🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube:

📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy Medium

☎️ Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461

📲 Follow @jb_copeland on Instagram and TikTok for daily truth drops

Up next
Aug 22
How To Trust Again After Being Hurt | JB Copeland's Sappy Hour Ep.009
You’ve been hurt before. Betrayed, abandoned, lied to. And now you’re in something new — but instead of feeling safe, you catch yourself waiting for it to collapse.This episode of Sappy Hour is about how to stop dragging your past into your present. We’ll unpack why unresolved wo ... Show More
29m 52s
Aug 15
How to Move On Without Closure — The Science & Soul of Letting Go | JB Copeland's Sappy Hour Ep. 008
In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB Copeland dives deep into one of the hardest questions after heartbreak: How do you move on when you never got closure? Drawing on powerful studies from psychology and neuroscience, JB breaks down why your brain hates uncertainty, why unfinished s ... Show More
31m 33s
Aug 8
Why Intense Love Fades Fast (and How to Spot the Real Thing)
It’s easy to mistake intensity for intimacy — those whirlwind relationships that feel deep from the start, only to vanish without warning. In this episode, JB breaks down why fast, passionate connections can still fall apart, and how to spot if someone is truly ready for a health ... Show More
28m 10s
Recommended Episodes
Sep 2024
391: PART 2 - How to Manifest Your Own Love Story: Trusting Your Timeline & Dealing with Frustration
More on Dating Apps, Disappointment, and “Being Ready” Hitting dead-end after dead-end in dating these days and READY for your dream relationship!? 👀 Then LISTEN UP, ladies (and men!!), this two-part episode is for you because Monica’s bringing you a different perspective on how ... Show More
27m 9s
Sep 2024
395: Why Saying (And Hearing) ‘NO’ Is the Cornerstone to a Healthy Relationship
Plus, How to Avoid and Begin Healing the Poison of Resentment Inspired by a reel that won’t stop going viral, Monica’s breaking down why saying (and hearing) NO must be a CORNERSTONE for the health and longevity of your relationship. Listen to the episode for the WHY because *thi ... Show More
31m 21s
Apr 2025
Do Avoidants Even Fall in Love?
Spin to Win! Get exclusive discounts on PDS membership. Limited-time offer—don’t miss out! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/spin-the-wheel?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=spin-the-wheel&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast Do avoidants really fall in love—or are they jus ... Show More
12m 59s
Apr 2025
437 - How to Heal When Everything Falls Apart
What do you do when life falls apart? In this powerful conversation, Suleika Jaouad shares how journaling, creativity, and community helped her survive cancer, heartbreak, and uncertainty - and build a life of purpose and beauty. You'll learn how to transform pain into power, rew ... Show More
1h 25m
Feb 2025
Tuesday Truth: Breaking Free from Rigidity – How to Embrace Flexibility and Deepen Relationships
Are You Stuck in Black-and-White Thinking? Let’s Talk About It.If you struggle with intense emotions, fear of abandonment, or difficulty navigating relationships, you might also feel trapped in rigid thinking patterns—the kind that say, “If they really loved me, they wouldn’t hav ... Show More
37m 18s
May 19
Why He Ghosted You
Get help in Marriage:💓 Compatibility Bundle (Key Questions) https://www.mindful-muslimah.com/compatibility-bundle/------------------------------------------------No text. No call. Just silence. If you’ve ever been ghosted and left wondering what went wrong—this episode is a must ... Show More
12m 13s
Mar 2025
10 Signs They're Emotionally Unavailable with Tori Gordon
Are you ready to spot the 🚩 10 signs of emotional unavailability and protect your heart in the dating world? In this episode of the Coachable Podcast, I’m breaking down transformative insights into recognizing emotionally unavailable partners and sharing practical advice to help ... Show More
45m 40s
Apr 2025
why you crave chaos in love
Why does love feel most real when it hurts? When the tension, the pull, the rupture are the only things that makes you feel alive? If you’ve ever found yourself confusing emotional chaos for connection, this one’s for you. In this episode, we’re diving beneath the surface of your ... Show More
1h 4m
Nov 2024
403: Healing From Religious Trauma & Reconnecting With Your Feminine Energy With Jordan Laurelle
Plus, Practical Steps for Rapid Manifestation Oooooh this is a spicy conversation that is sure to give you the drive, motivation, and FIRE to finish this year out STRONG! Monica talks about this often, that there’s no “throwing in the towel” this time of year because sooo much is ... Show More
52m 7s
May 14
431: The Energetics of Expansion and How to Discern the Difference Between Your Intuition & Fear
Clarity, embodiment, and next-level action—aka a full-on masterclass on expansion. If you’re feeling the stretch between where you are and where you know you’re meant to be, this episode is for you. Monica's breaking down the real energetics of expansion—not just the copy/paste m ... Show More
57m 53s