logo
episode-header-image
Aug 2024
32m 36s

EP 463: Stop Talking Yourself into an Un...

CHRISTINE HASSLER
About this episode

In this episode of “Over It and On With It,” Christine Hassler coaches Sarah, who struggles with the complexities of a relationship that appears both deeply meaningful and deeply troubling. Sarah's situation involves a partner who alternates between emotional closeness and sudden, unexplained withdrawal, triggering Sarah's abandonment fears.

Christine helps Sarah recognize the unhealthy patterns and offers guidance on finding the strength to set necessary boundaries. Christine's compassionate yet direct approach aims to support listeners who may find themselves rationalizing toxic behaviors in their relationships due to unresolved childhood wounds.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you find yourself attracted to relationships that cause you significant stress and anxiety?
  • Are you making excuses for someone's unhealthy behavior because of their past trauma or because they express emotions sincerely?
  • Did you grow up in a household where you felt neglected or unloved, leading you to accept less than you deserve in relationships?
  • Do you struggle with setting firm boundaries and often talk yourself into staying in relationships that don't serve you?
  • Are you ready to take bold actions to change unhealthy patterns in your relationships?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

  • Sarah's intense connection with her partner is rooted in unresolved childhood abandonment issues, making her more tolerant of behaviors like ghosting and emotional withdrawal.
  • Despite the partner's ability to articulate emotions, his repeated blocking and disappearing acts are red flags that cannot be overlooked.
  • Christine highlights the importance of evaluating how someone handles stress and whether they take responsibility for their triggers and actions.
  • The episode underscores the necessity of setting clear boundaries and recognizing when a relationship is unhealthy, regardless of the depth of emotional connection.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

  • Acknowledge and address the old childhood wounds influencing your tolerance for unhealthy behaviors in relationships.
  • Practice emotional and physical grounding techniques to reconnect with your sense of self-worth and power.
  • Seek out trauma-informed therapy or coaching to work through past wounds in a supportive and healthy environment.
  • Establish firm boundaries and recognize that justifying toxic behaviors is a coping strategy rooted in past trauma.
  • Affirm your worthiness of love and respect, and take bold actions to protect your emotional well-being.

Upcoming Events:

  • Christine Hassler's upcoming retreat at the end of September 2024. Early bird pricing is available until the end of August. Register at christinehassler.com/retreat.

Social Media + Resources:

Up next
Yesterday
EP 516: How to Get Your Needs Met in a Long-Term Relationship with Kevin
In this powerful coaching session, Christine works with Kevin, a husband of 21 years, as he explores the delicate balance between healthy relational needs and unresolved childhood wounds. Kevin opens up about longing for deeper intimacy and appreciation from his wife—and wonderin ... Show More
42m 36s
Oct 4
CC: Why We Fawn & People Please with Dr. Ingrid Clayton
The survival strategy of fawning may have once kept you safe, but it can leave you disconnected, resentful, and exhausted. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Ingrid Clayton, psychologist and author of Fawning: The Cost of People-Pleasing and the Courage to Break Free, joins Chris ... Show More
48m 58s
Oct 1
EP 515: What May Be Stopping You From Pursuing Your Dream with Jessica
In this episode, Christine coaches Jessica, a multi-passionate entrepreneur who struggles to follow through on her vision. Jessica shares how she often throws herself into new ideas with enthusiasm, only to lose momentum when life shifts or self-doubt creeps in. Although she feel ... Show More
40 m
Recommended Episodes
Mar 2025
10 Signs They're Emotionally Unavailable with Tori Gordon
Are you ready to spot the 🚩 10 signs of emotional unavailability and protect your heart in the dating world? In this episode of the Coachable Podcast, I’m breaking down transformative insights into recognizing emotionally unavailable partners and sharing practical advice to help ... Show More
45m 40s
Dec 2024
NLP636 - Leveling Up Your Relationships with Sabrina Zohar
In this episode of The Next Level Podcast, we’re joined by the incredible Sabrina Zohar, a world-renowned podcast host and relationship coach known for her no-nonsense attitude, hilarious wit, and deep compassion. Sabrina breaks down attachment styles, explains why some people ke ... Show More
1h 3m
Jun 2025
How to Set Boundaries with Emotionally Immature People - The CLEAR Method w/ Jess Miller
Jess's Free download- The CLEAR Method for setting boundaries with Emotionally Immature People Join Therapy in a Nutshell’s membership and get instant access to all 10 life-changing courses, live weekly Q&As, and a supportive community for just $27/month. Learn how to manage anxi ... Show More
46m 52s
Aug 2024
5 Toxic Family Members to Avoid On Your Emotional Healing Journey
In this episode of the Breakdown to Breakthrough Podcast, Lisa A. Romano delves into the five toxic family members you need to avoid while on your healing journey: The Critic, The Denier, The Controller, The Martyr, and The Drama King/Queen. Lisa explains how each of these archet ... Show More
16m 55s
Apr 2025
Jillian Turecki: 9 Truths About Love That Hurt — and Heal
Why do we stay in the wrong relationships? Is it fear, habit, or the belief that love is supposed to be difficult? In this episode of A Really Good Cry, I sit down with relationship coach Jillian Turecki for an honest, insightful conversation about why we get stuck in unhealthy r ... Show More
1h 6m
Sep 2024
Nicole LePera: How to Break the Cycle of Trauma Bonds & Stop Toxic Relationship Habits
What are your emotional needs? How do you communicate them clearly? Today, Jay welcomes back Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, best-selling author, and founder of the SelfHealers Circle, a global community for self-healing. She is the author of the New York Times bestse ... Show More
1h 16m
Aug 2024
What to Do When Someone Crosses Your Boundary: Codependency Recovery in Action
What to Do When Someone Crosses Your Boundary: Codependency Recovery in Action In this powerful episode, we dive into the crucial topic of boundaries. Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your emotional well-being. However, for those who h ... Show More
48m 6s
Sep 1
Rekindling Connection & Desire in Your Relationship, with Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt
🔹 Want personalized support in your recovery? Book a FREE discovery call with Jeremy to see if coaching is right for you at JeremyLipkowitz.com/intro 🔹 In this episode of Unhooked, I'm joined by Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt. Allana shares powerful insights into building and mai ... Show More
58m 50s
Mar 2025
How To Believe You Are Worthy Of The Love You Desire | Jillian Turecki
I'm going on tour! Come see The School of Greatness LIVE in person!Get my new book Make Money Easy here!Relationship expert Jillian Turecki delivers a masterclass in authentic love that challenges conventional wisdom about partnership in today's divisive world. Through vulnerable ... Show More
1h 25m
Nov 2024
Ep 272 Emotional Eating with Sarah Alysse Bobo
Emotional disconnection often lies at the heart of struggles with eating habits and overall well-being. Many individuals turn to food not just for sustenance but as a coping mechanism to navigate complex emotions—often without realizing the patterns ingrained by family dynamics a ... Show More
51m 28s