logo
episode-header-image
Jul 24
23m 59s

the emotional cost of always being avail...

Mollie Adler
About this episode

In a world where the day begins with blinking notifications and ends with unanswered messages, many of us are carrying an invisible weight. This episode examines the psychological and physiological cost of always being available and why the pressure to respond is quietly rewiring our nervous systems. From the dopamine mechanics of unread messages to the guilt spiral of delayed replies, we explore how digital communication has become an endless loop that never truly resolves.


Through lived experience and cultural observation, we unpack the silent labor behind texting, the emotional taxation of voice notes, and the internalized expectations that shape how we relate to others online. It’s an honest invitation to step back, set boundaries without guilt, and consider the possibility that your nervous system is asking for something quieter.


What you’ll learn in this episode:


  • Why digital communication feels like a to-do list your brain can’t close
  • How the myth of “Inbox Zero” keeps you trapped in an endless loop
  • The psychological cost of “mutual awareness” in texting culture
  • What invisible labor looks like in a high-volume digital world
  • Why guilt and avoidance often stem from internalized expectations
  • How to take conscious control of your responsiveness without disconnecting from your life
  • Why silence may be the missing element your nervous system needs


✧ WANT THE FULL EPISODE? ✧ Every other week, I release extended, premium episodes exclusively on Patreon. If you’ve found value in what you’ve heard so far, you can unlock the full version by visiting patreon.com/backfromtheborderline. Just search the episode title and dive in. This podcast is how I support my family. It’s my full-time work. Aside from a few dynamically inserted ads, it’s made possible ENTIRELY by listener support. I already share hours of free content each week, and premium episodes like this help me keep going without having to sell out my voice. If you believe in the value of this work, joining my Patreon is the most direct way to sustain it.


Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Up next
Oct 9
the alchemy of sleep and how your roots decide what you dream
Most people chase their dreams by focusing purely on the mind. They track every symbol and obsess over dream dictionary interpretations. The deeper story, though, sits in the last place we thought to look. Deep in our bodies.Ancient physicians maps out this story through the conc ... Show More
23m 21s
Oct 7
aleister crowley: the man, the myth, the shadow
Aleister Crowley is one of the most mythologized figures in modern history. He’s been called a prophet, a fraud, a genius, a junkie, a saint, and a monster. His face shows up on a Beatles album cover, his words show up in Led Zeppelin’s lyrics, and his fingerprints stretch across ... Show More
1h 59m
Oct 2
ufo disclosure bombshell [part 2]: why masculine thinking is killing disclosure
We’ve been going in circles on this stuff for a long time now. Despite decades of witness testimony, leaked documents, and official acknowledgments, UFO / UAP disclosure remains trapped in the same analytical frameworks that created the secrecy in the first place. This episode ex ... Show More
37m 46s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2020
195 SelfWork: The Suck It Up Episode: Why You Struggle to Feel
Today's topic was weirdly and almost synergistically created. As I was researching emotional expression, two quite different sources led me to the work of Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett. I'll share her and Dr. Tim Lomas' work with you today, as we discover an entirely new w ... Show More
29m 31s
Dec 2024
Ep 274 How Busyness Is Killing You
Do you feel trapped in an endless cycle of food struggles, constantly thinking about eating, weight, and body image? Have past solutions worked temporarily but failed to address deeper, lingering issues? Know that the root of the problem may run deeper than you realize. Unresolve ... Show More
40m 31s
Jul 7
Ep 305 Why you're overwhelmed with food (and how to finally feel free)
Have you ever wondered why you keep struggling with food, even when you know what to do? Why can you be successful in so many areas of life, yet feel stuck in an exhausting cycle of overeating, dieting, and self-criticism? If you’ve tried everything but nothing seems to stick, yo ... Show More
19m 18s
Oct 1
Emotional Avoidance Isn’t Helping You Cope — Here’s Why [Ep 37]
In this episode, I explore emotional avoidance — what it looks like, why it shows up in women with high-functioning anxiety, and how it often ties back to childhood trauma.We also dive into how disconnection from your body keeps emotions stuck, and practical ways to notice and ge ... Show More
17m 46s
Nov 2024
174 - The Psychology of Staying Silent
Do you cringe at the thought of telling your nail technician you hate your nails, or does sending your food back in a restaurant make you break into a cold sweat? Do you speak up when someone does something that makes you feel anything less than amazing, or do you find yourself t ... Show More
51m 37s
Sep 15
Ep 315 FAT BRAIN – How to Stop the Food Noise in 90 Seconds
Have you ever wished you could silence the constant food noise in your head—the endless chatter about what you should or shouldn’t eat? What if you could quiet that voice in less than two minutes, without relying on drugs or quick fixes? Imagine how much lighter and freer your li ... Show More
46m 4s
May 2025
Ep 297 Diets Don’t Work. Here’s What Does
This powerful episode challenges the traditional weight loss narrative. It's not about diets, discipline, or exercise, it's about healing. The host shares real stories from women in her Fast Track to Freedom program, exploring how emotional mastery, subconscious work, and self-co ... Show More
28m 14s
May 2025
Ep 298 Why high achievers still feel stuck with food + weight
🔑 Episode Summary: This empowering episode is for high-achieving women who feel overwhelmed behind the scenes. Whether you’re a doctor, mom, leader, or professional, if you struggle with emotional eating, perfectionism, and burnout, this is your invitation to find lasting peace ... Show More
15m 17s
Apr 2025
Ep 293 The Hidden Cost of Surviving
Why does it feel like no matter how hard you try, you're still stuck in survival mode? Why do you lash out at the people you love, then feel terrible about it afterward? Why does intimacy feel impossible—even though all you want is a deep connection? If you're asking yourself the ... Show More
31m 51s
Sep 14
Sleep Meditation: Comfort for Those Left Behind by Suicide
Join Premium! Ready for an ad-free meditation experience? Join Premium now and get every episode from ALL of our podcasts completely ad-free now! Just a few clicks makes it easy for you to listen on your favorite podcast player. Become a PREMIUM member today by going to --> https ... Show More
28m 34s