In this episode we explore the activated nervous system state—better known as fight-or-flight. If you’ve ever felt anxious, tightly wound, or like your body just can’t stop, this one’s for you. We explore why your system gets stuck in this high-alert state and, most importantly, provide a practical toolkit to help you work with your nervous system, not against it. Learn why "just calm down" doesn't work and what to do instead to find real regulation.
*This episode serves as Part 2 in our "Different States Series"
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What activation actually is and how it shows up in the body
- The difference between fight and flight energy
- Why your system gets stuck in this state
- What anxiety is trying to tell you through a parts work lens
- The most effective in-the-moment tools to help discharge activation
- What doesn’t work (and why forcing calm can backfire)
- The deeper work required to shift out of chronic activation for good
3 Takeaways:
- Your anxiety isn’t random. It’s your body saying: “Something doesn’t feel safe.” Instead of asking "How do I stop this?" ask "What is my body trying to tell me?"
- Different states need different support. An activated body needs to move and discharge energy. Trying to force stillness often backfires. The goal isn't to just calm down; it's to help your body complete the stress response.
- Reactive tools are scaffolding for deeper work. In-the-moment tools are crucial for managing activation, but the long-term goal is to create a life your nervous system doesn't feel the need to constantly escape from by addressing the root causes.
Categories of Tools for Activation mentioned in this episode:
- Movement – march in place, shake out your limbs, push against a wall, stomp, dance, go for a walk
- Breath (but not deep breathing) – try a physiological sigh (two inhales, one slow exhale), or blow air like you're cooling soup
- Vision resets – slowly scan your environment, do lateral eye movements, shift focus from near to far
- Sensory grounding – cold water, textured objects, strong scents like peppermint or citrus
- Patterned action – folding laundry, swaying, rocking, tapping rhythms
- Voice and sound – humming, shushing, singing, or whispering soothing phrases like “I’m okay, I’m not in danger, I’m safe enough right now.”
- Parts Work: bring in the parts work perspective
The goal of these tools isn't to shut down the activation—it is to help complete it. They use up the energy your body has mobilized. And they begin to signal: “We’re okay now.”
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