After a botchy IG Live when I couldn't SEE Esin, this was delicious to LOOK into her beautiful eyes and connect heart to heart. Erin is a Holistic Psychologist, LCSW, Addiction Professional, and Relationship Expert.
We dove right into our shared experiences of Female Friendship & Betrayal. While many think breaking up with a boyfriend or husband is intense… we both agreed that the heartbreak of female friendship betrayals and the pain of sisterhood ruptures can be even more intense… perhaps because you don't see them coming.
We both opened up about how early family roles and codependent tendencies and how that has shaped our adult relationships, and how needing constant reassurance or connection with others can lead to losing a sense of self.
It was so nourishing to connect with Esin about the complexities of therapeutic relationships, how deeply intimate and soul-connected they can become, and the struggle to maintain healthy boundaries without losing authenticity or care. We both have historically over-given to clients at the cost of our own well-being. I shared how my mentors have taught me self-first care vs. selfless care, and how time off and new practices like a month's sabbatical in Spain, flamenco dancing is helping me reclaim joy and balance.
As two single women, we highlighted the importance of building friendships and romantic relationships outside of work and stop over-relying on our careers for fulfillment. We lovingly challenged each other to actively create more space for personal relationships and fun. I shared a playfully structured approach with ways I'm reparenting my inner self—including having "dinner" with her inner masculine and feminine, and putting a cardboard Jason Mamoa in my home to prompt sensual self-practices! (Decided on the poster, not the full-size cardboard after all xox)
Our conversation was deeply personal, with both of us modeling vulnerability, acknowledging our wounds, and laughing through the shared journey of learning to love and care for ourselves more fully. Some bumper sticker takeaways include..."If I avoid love, I avoid pain. But if I avoid pain, I also avoid love." "We don't want to dismantle codependency in a way where we demonize it—we just want to harness it differently." "The source of my wholeness needs to come from inside-out, not outside-in."
This episode is a beautiful, raw, and deeply human exploration of the messy, courageous journey of reclaiming self-worth, intimacy, and joy—especially for those, like Esin and I, who help others for a living. It's a reminder that even the most evolved coaches and therapists are still growing, too.
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About Esin:
Esin Pinarli is a holistic psychotherapist and relationship expert specializing in IMAGO therapy, brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic practices, and psychodrama. Through an integrative experiential approach, she helps individuals and couples suffering from anxiety, depression, addiction, codependency, trauma, and relational attachment issues to navigate life's challenges so they can become fully alive, supported, and whole.
Website:
https://eternalwellnesscounseling.com
Facebook URL:
https://www.facebook.com/eternalwellnesscounseling
Instagram URL:
https://www.instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw
YouTube URL:
https://www.youtube.com/@EsinPinarli
Becoming Aware of Self: An introduction to Internal Family Systems
https://esinpinarli.myflodesk.com/becoming-aware-of-self
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