logo
episode-header-image
Jul 2025
18m 9s

Ep. 94: 2 Novels About Perfectionists Su...

Gary Trosclair
About this episode

 What happens when a rigid devotion to rules, order, and perfection replaces our ability to feel, connect, and live? In this episode, we explore two moving character studies from Fredrik Backman’s novels A Man Called Ove and Britt-Marie Was Here. Through Ove and Britt-Marie—both fictional but deeply familiar—we see the beauty, heartbreak, and potential of the obsessive-compulsive personality. These stories show what can go wrong when emotional life is outsourced or buried—and what can go right when we begin to reclaim it. From tragic emotional isolation to unexpected transformation, this conversation offers insight, humor, and hope for anyone trying to loosen the grip of perfectionism. 

Up next
Oct 1
What Carl Jung Would Tell You About Your Perfectionism. Ep. 122
Do you constantly see what's wrong and feel compelled to fix it? In this imagined Jungian session, a man named Percy — a bank compliance officer sent by his girlfriend for his perfectionism — meets Carl Jung to ask how he can talk to his girlfriend, and whether he has OCPD (obses ... Show More
26m 15s
Sep 8
Perfectionism Burnout and The Myth of The Total Couch Potato Collapse, Ep. 121
Afraid that if you stop, you'll never start again? You're not lazy — you're caught in rigidity.In this episode, Jungian analyst and psychotherapist Gary Trosclair unpacks the Myth of the Total Couch Potato Collapse — the catastrophic story that one nap, one weekend off, one momen ... Show More
13m 9s
Aug 29
The “Should Effect”: When Desire Gets Lost in Self-Discipline, Ep. 120
The thing you once wanted became the thing you have to do — and the moment it did, it stopped being fun.Psychotherapist and Jungian analyst Gary Trosclair calls this the Should Effect: the quiet process by which genuine desire hardens into rigid obligation. You start with a choic ... Show More
19m 2s
Recommended Episodes
May 2023
86. Perfectionism and academic anxiety
Perfectionism is on the rise amongst young people, and in this episode we break down exactly what it means to have perfectionist tendencies. We examine the theories of personality, our upbringing, links to OCD and ADHD and what it means for academic performance and anxiety. We al ... Show More
42m 20s
Nov 2021
#90: To My Perfectionists
<p>This short solo episode is a message to my fellow perfectionists. If you‘ve ever felt like perfectionism is holding you back, listen to this to break free from that.</p> <p>You will learn a language trick that will help reframe your mindset about being ”perfect” so that you ca ... Show More
17m 28s
Mar 2025
3524: Why I'm Not Waiting on Perfection by Melissa Camara Wilkins with No Sidebar on Self-Love
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3524: Melissa Camara Wilkins explores the hidden burdens of perfectionism and how the relentless pursuit of flawlessness ca ... Show More
9m 23s
Oct 2021
Understanding Perfectionism
<p>Hello lovely listeners!<br/><br/> We&apos;re back for a much requested episode talking all things perfectionist behaviours + perfectionism. <br/><br/>In this episode, we delve into what causes perfectionism, the function of perfectionism  + strategies which can help if you are ... Show More
59m 56s
Jan 2016
Ep 28. Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not the same as doing your very best. It is not the same as striving for more and better. Instead, it is a means by which we deprive ourselves of feelings of satisfaction, fulfillment and pride. Rather than having a realistic gauge of what is good and complete, w ... Show More
28m 50s
Nov 2016
Ep. 12 | The Elegance of My Brilliant Friend
In this episode Autumn and Kendra discuss The Elegance of the Hedgehog and My Brilliant Friend. Do protagonists have to be likable? What role does education play in the lives of Elena and Lina in My Brilliant Friend? Listen and join the conversation on Goodreads or other social m ... Show More
35m 48s
May 2024
consistency > perfection
<p>Episode 191: In today&apos;s episode, we&apos;re diving deep into a topic that&apos;s been on my mind a lot lately: perfectionism. If you&apos;ve ever found yourself waiting for the &quot;perfect&quot; moment or striving for flawless execution, this episode is for you. We&apos ... Show More
26m 47s
Dec 2024
S3E01. Breakdowns & Burnout to Brilliance
<p>Hello friends! Welcome back to 9 Lives Podcast. I am so delighted to be back! Thank you for your patience whilst I took some time out.</p> <p>This week we are discussing mental health breakdowns, burnout, learning to live with big failures, and how to dust yourself off and get ... Show More
56m 37s
Mar 2025
384. The Logical Case for Positive Thinking with Oliver Burkeman
Do you constantly feel like you need to control everything in your life? Like if you could just be more organized, more productive, more perfect, then you’d finally feel at peace? What if the real secret to feeling more fulfilled was actually letting go of that control? This week ... Show More
35m 53s
Jan 2025
How To Embrace Imperfection
In our first "How To..." guide of 2025, Dr Laurie is asking how can we stop striving for perfection and make peace with the idea that it's ok to lead messy and "half-assed" lives.  Oliver Burkeman (author of Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make ... Show More
43m 39s