logo
episode-header-image
Jul 8
26m 33s

Why Mess Feels So Triggering

DR. BECKY KENNEDY
About this episode

Why does a messy house feel so overwhelming? In this episode, Dr. Becky unpacks the deeper emotional roots behind why physical clutter—like the laundry pile or the half-unpacked suitcase—can feel like a personal failure instead of just “stuff.” She explores how mess stirs feelings of chaos, shame, and “not enoughness,” especially for parents carrying the invisible mental load.

You’ll hear why mess taps into childhood messages, cultural myths around “good moms,” and our very real need for control and completion. Plus: practical tools for separating self-worth from clutter, listener questions, and a powerful reminder—you are not your mess.

If you've ever felt like the state of your home says something about you, this episode is for you.

Get the Good Inside App by Dr. Becky: https://bit.ly/4fSxbzk

Your Good Inside membership might be eligible for HSA/FSA reimbursement! To learn more about how to get your membership reimbursed, check out the link here: https://www.goodinside.com/fsa-hsa-eligibility/

Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside

Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter

For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast.

Today’s episode is brought to you by Airbnb. Let’s be real: Planning a memorable summer for your kids can get expensive! So if you’re looking for creative ways to make a little extra income this summer, here’s one idea: Start hosting on Airbnb. As parents, we know there’s nothing better than finding a kid-friendly home for a family vacation (read: books, toys, spill-friendly furniture)... so why not share your own place with other families? Hosting can fund your summer fun while giving another family a comfortable place to stay. Talk about a win-win! Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.

Today’s episode is brought to you by Skylight Calendar. As parents, the mental load is real—to-do lists, doctor’s appointments, sports practices, work events, birthday parties… Should I keep going? If your family is anything like mine, it can feel like there are a thousand things to remember and your brain is running on overdrive. What if I told you there's a way to bring a little more calm and clarity to your chaotic, always-changing family schedule? Meet Skylight Calendar. It’s a central, easy-to-see touchscreen with clear colors, so everyone in your family can stay in the loop. As someone obsessed with efficiency, it almost feels like magic how seamlessly it syncs with all of the calendars you're already using—Google Calendar, Apple Calendar, Outlook, and more. I truly see this tool as your partner in sharing the mental load with your kids AND partner. And because life doesn't stop when you leave the house, Skylight offers a free companion app. You can add or update events, check off to-do lists, and stay in sync with your family no matter where you are. Another great feature: If you're not completely thrilled within 120 days, you can return it for a full refund. Ready to say goodbye to calendar chaos and hello to a more organized and connected family life? Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch Calendars. Just go to skylightcal.com/BECKY for $30 off. This offer expires December 31, 2025.

Today’s episode is brought to you by Sittercity. We talk a lot about support at Good Inside—emotional support, community, not having to figure out parenting on your own. Sometimes, you also need logistical support. Like, someone to watch your kid so you can make that meeting, run those errands, or finally catch up with a friend. That’s where Sittercity can be a really helpful tool. Their platform gives you a trusted way to find sitters who are kind, experienced, and show up when you need them. You can read reviews from other parents, message sitters directly, and set up interviews—all in one spot. If you’ve been meaning to find a sitter but didn’t know where to begin, this is going to make it feel a whole lot easier. Go to Sittercity.com and use the code “goodinside" for 25% off the annual or quarterly premium subscription plans.

Up next
Aug 19
Let's Talk Back-to-School
Sharpened pencils, new backpacks, picture-perfect outfits. Even if back-to-school season looks shiny on the outside, it often comes with a swirl of messy feelings for kids and parents! In this episode, Dr. Becky unpacks why starting school is more than just a change in schedule - ... Show More
29m 15s
Aug 12
A Different Take on Screen Time
We all know too much screen time isn’t good for kids—and our instinct as parents is to protect them from it. But when fear shapes how we manage screens at home, it can quickly turn into shame the moment they pick one up.In today’s world, where screens are woven into so much of da ... Show More
41m 21s
Aug 5
Why Imaginative Play Matters (and Why It’s Okay if It Feels Hard)
In this episode of Good Inside with Dr. Becky, we dive into the magic of imaginative play - why it’s so important for kids, and why it can feel surprisingly challenging for parents to join in.Dr. Becky explores how pretend play nurtures curiosity, problem-solving, and emotional g ... Show More
25m 39s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 9
How to Stop Feeling like a Failure at Home | Clutterbug Podcast # 277
If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly messing up as a mom — snapping at your kids, forgetting things, drowning in laundry, or just wishing someone would give you a gold star for trying — you are so not alone. Maybe you feel like you’re failing at homemaking, or maybe you're ... Show More
48m 30s
Jun 10
Case Study: What To Do When "Special Time" Backfires [Fan Favorite]
Do you feel like you’re doing everything “right”? You’ve started implementing special time and focusing on connection, yet it creates more chaos. The kids might have meltdowns when the timer goes off, or sibling squabbles seem endless. You may question whether connected parenting ... Show More
29m 53s
Jul 14
This Productivity Hack will Change Your Life! | Clutterbug Podcast # 282
Ever feel like you’re doing everything and still falling behind? Like no matter how many lists you make or how early you wake up, your calendar is still chaos — and your needs always come last? In this episode, I sit down with productivity and time management expert Megan Sumrell ... Show More
1h 9m
Mar 2025
How to have emotionally intelligent arguments with your partner
Send us a textEver caught yourself rattling off an endless list of reminders to your partner before they take the kids somewhere? "Don't forget snacks, water bottles, jackets..." Sound familiar? In this illuminating episode, I share a personal revelation that transformed my under ... Show More
30m 56s
Jul 2024
2238: [Part 2] How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) by Shawna Scafe of Simple on Purpose on Motherhood
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com.Episode 2238:Shawna Scafe emphasizes the importance of a "morning review" to plan the day effectively as a mom. By setting a vision ... Show More
10m 39s
Dec 2024
Goal-Setting Made Easy For Busy Moms
As a busy mom, goal-setting can sometimes feel like just another task on an already overwhelming to-do list. You’re always taking care of everyone else, and by the time you get a moment to think about your own goals, you're too exhausted to even know where to start. Sound familia ... Show More
30m 48s
Jan 2024
Why your own emotional intelligence matters as a parent with Genny Rumancik
Hang tight for a cozy chat that's like catching up with your parent BFF – we're spilling the beans on emotions and parenting with Jenny from EQ School. No fancy talk, just a laid-back convo packed with aha moments.From decoding our emotions to setting real, self-care bo ... Show More
50m 13s
Feb 2025
Why Your To-Do List Is Hurting Your Parenting
Do you ever feel like there’s just not enough time for connection? Between work, household tasks, and never-ending to-do lists, it’s easy to let quality time with our kids slip to the bottom of our priorities. But what if I told you that focusing on connection first actually make ... Show More
13m 14s
Oct 2024
395: What to Do if Your Teen is Exhausting You // Andee Martineau
I recently taught a free masterclass all about mom rage. Toward the beginning of the class, I asked the women in attendance to share something that makes them feel angry on a regular basis. One mom shared: “Feeling rejected by my teen who wants nothing to do with me. This is not ... Show More
31m 3s
Jul 23
"Everything is great, so why don't I feel better?"
You’ve checked all the boxes—healthy kids, good marriage, stable home, a life that looks exactly like what you once hoped for… so why do you still feel off? In this episode, I’m diving into one of the most common struggles I hear from high-achieving moms: the disconnect between h ... Show More
29m 7s