logo
episode-header-image
Jul 7
36m 50s

What is Parentification? A nervous syste...

Jennifer Wallace & Elisabeth Kristof
About this episode

Explore the Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching Certification: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/

What if the invisible responsibilities you carried as a child are still shaping your adult life?

In this episode of Trauma Rewired, we explore parentification—a hidden form of childhood trauma where children are forced to become the emotional or physical caretakers of their parents. Whether you managed your parent’s emotions or became “the responsible one” too early, these patterns can wire your nervous system for survival rather than safety—and the impact is long-term.

Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof unpack how emotional and instrumental parentification lead to chronic stress, emotional repression, gut dysfunction, and deeply rooted perfectionism. You’ll learn why healing isn’t about changing your parents, but about reclaiming autonomy in your own nervous system through boundary setting, grief integration, and somatic repatterning.

We break down how these early adaptations become nervous system defaults—like freeze, fawn, and shame—and how to begin shifting them using neuro-somatic tools that regulate stress, restore connection, and return you to your body.

This episode is both validating and empowering: you are not broken—you were overloaded. And healing starts when you stop carrying what was never yours to hold.

Topics discussed in this episode:
● What parentification is and why it’s often invisible
● The difference between emotional and instrumental parentification
● How parentification leads to chronic shame, perfectionism, and nervous system dysregulation
● The impact of childhood stress on gut health and inflammation
● How emotional repression starts in childhood and lives in the body
● Why boundaries feel threatening—but are essential for healing
● The link between freeze, fawn, and CPTSD
● How nervous system repatterning rewires your relational responses
● The role of somatic practice in processing stored grief and guilt
● Why your healing won’t change others—but it will change you
● How to reclaim your emotional autonomy and rewrite survival-based wiring

Explore the Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching Certification:
https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/

Get started training your nervous system with our FREE 2-week offer on the Brain Based Membership site:
https://www.rewiretrial.com

Find Trauma Rewired on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@TraumaRewired

Connect with us on social media: @trauma.rewired

Join the Trauma Rewired Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/761101225132846

FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use our exclusive offer:
https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired

Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
If someone’s life is in danger, immediately call 911.

We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don’t warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It’s very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren’t responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast.

We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don’t verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.

We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.

Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

We’ve done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com

All rights in our content are reserved

This episode was produced by ClipGrowth - Podcast Video Editing, SEO & YouTube Strategy
ClipGrowthAgency.com

Up next
Oct 6
Trauma Isn't Just In Your Head (It's In Your Cells)
Trauma is not a single moment. It is an ongoing dialogue between your brain, body, and environment. In this conversation, Dr. Mbemba Jabbi explains how neuroplasticity and affective neuroscience help us understand protective patterns like hypervigilance, shutdown, and dissociatio ... Show More
1h 4m
Sep 29
The Emotional Block That No One Talks About
Have you ever drawn a blank when asked how you're feeling? Or maybe you experience constant inner buzzing, numbness, or anxiety without any words to describe it. You’re not broken—and you’re not alone. In this deeply informative and compassionately nuanced episode, Jennifer, Eliz ... Show More
39m 34s
Sep 22
The Duality of Emotions: Why Ambivalence Isn't Confusion
Ambivalence isn’t confusion or weakness, it’s your nervous system doing its job. Feeling both joy and grief, relief and loss, fear and excitement, is not dysfunction but survival wisdom. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, Elisabeth Kristof and Jennifer Wallace unpack ambivalence ... Show More
51m 13s
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2024
Resolving Trauma to Step Into the Life Meant for You
In this episode, Sarah explains how trauma is something we all experience to varying degrees and the impact it has on our lives. When we have yet to resolve past trauma, it actually gets stuck and stored in our bodies, meaning our system essentially thinks it is still happening o ... Show More
1h 12m
Apr 2025
The C’s
We share from How It Works.“We didn’t cause it.  We can’t control it.  We can’t cure it.”  But we can contribute compassion.The website is HERE.You can join the Community HERE.  Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups.  Message us if we can help!You ca ... Show More
21m 2s
Mar 2025
Treating Nervous System Dysregulation: Somatic Healing for CPTSD w/ Irene Lyon
Explore how a lifetime of chronic stress and fear can lead to nervous system dysregulation, and how somatic healing can help rewire our responses to trauma. Dive into this episode to uncover the transformative power of understanding and healing our deepest unseen wounds.Irene Lyo ... Show More
1h 13m
Oct 3
Armoring - How Trauma Gets Embodied as Tension, Chronic Pain, Jumpiness or Emotional Walls
When we understand how trauma shows up in the body, armoring is an important aspect. It includes muscle tension, chronic pain, and constant hypervigilance. Learn the skills to regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership FREE Grou ... Show More
19m 33s
Sep 2
327. How trauma gets trapped in the body
We often think of trauma as something extreme - a dramatic, life-altering event. But trauma isn’t just what happened to us. It’s also how our body learned to survive. It can be quiet, subtle, and long-lasting, shaping how we live, cope, and exist in the world, often unconsciously ... Show More
54m 6s
Oct 2024
The Roadmap to Somatic Healing: Using Science to Heal in a Way That Works
Did you know there is an order to which we heal? When we use the right tools, in the right order, our systems respond and it expedites our healing. Sarah will guide you through the somatic roadmap necessary to facilitate deep, lasting change, using somatic modalities that speak d ... Show More
1h 5m
May 2023
Rebecca Kase: Polyvagal Informed EMDR: A Neuro-informed Approach to Healing
Rebecca Kase is the Owner of Rebecca Kase & CO, LLC as well as a licensed clinical social worker and author of Polyvagal Informed EMDR: A Neuro Informed Approach To Healing. You may remember her burnout story from a previous episode of FRIED. Rebecca began studying polyvagal theo ... Show More
56m 24s
Aug 18
Are You Triggered? Help For Empathic Overthinkers to Recognize and Respond Appropriately to Triggers
Tired of trying to think your way out of overthinking?Let me show you what actually works—in less than 30 minutes.Get immediate access to a free class now.Ever walked away from a moment with your kid, partner, or parent thinking, “Why did I just lose it like that?”In this short t ... Show More
6m 12s
Jul 30
1163: A Listener Asks: Why Cant I Shake the Anxiety?
In today's episode, Gina responds to a listener question about experiencing high stress situations and why some of the tried and true recommendations she hears about on the podcast don't seem to be working for her. Specifically, she asks about the RAIN technique for dealing with ... Show More
17m 12s
Apr 2020
Book: Trauma and Recovery, Part Two
Dr. E shares about a book she discovered through a class with the ISSTD.  She explores what she has learned about Charcot, Janet, and Freud.  She gives the historical context of their rivalry, and how that later connected to research with veterans who had endured combat.  She tel ... Show More
55m 24s